Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

April 13, 2009

Bikini Review

Filed under: humor,Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 8:30 AM
Tags: , , , , , ,

I am back, didya miss me? (Okie Talk)  I would like to thank everyone for the email and the encouragement, the kind words, they went a long ways towards my recovery and general well being.

Thanks.

Been awhile, I am at a loss as to where to start this morning.  A quick update for the occasional visitor.  This past week, last Wednesday I sat down for a meal of Chinese Food and half way home, the ominous grumbling deep down in the pit of the stomach started, and by the third stop light, I KNEW I was in trouble.

I will spare you all the gory details, but I have been down in the mount for five or six days, I have lost eight pounds, and today is my first day back. Just because “it tastes just like chicken doesn’t really mean it is going to be good for you” remember that.

Somewhat lost, I am adrift or awash in a sea of my own making, not having watched any television for the past five or six days, having not ventured out of the abode but one time for medicine and the majority of my time was spent in bed.  So coming in here, sitting down to an empty CPU a blank screen and having “nothing” is a bit daunting or downright challenging.

This is one of those mornings that you dread, a time where it is that you have nothing but the raw talent God gave you, the insight, imagination, to possibly pull it off, to make it all work, it is all up to you.  Often you go to the proverbial well and there isn’t anything for you.

No television, no news, no paper, all I have is what I have, and that isn’t much.

I did hear of a woman who had a pet pig, and the town in which she lived told her that she would have to get rid of the pig, so she moved.  Instead of giving up the pig, which is really stooopid it is not news.  From what I gather it is the same old stuff anywho.  All the adults in the country are worried about Lindsay Lohann and her breakup and the eleven year olds’ are discussing global warming and the end of the world, what does that tell you.

We don’t need an update on the news.

So you can see where we are headed this morning, can’t you?  This is not one of those mornings when you reach past the first two or three slices of bread, to get deeper into the loaf for the “fresh stuff” this is when you tap into something that you didn’t have yesterday and hope there is something there today, when you do make it there.

Often I refer to this process (if it could be called a process) as “shooting from the hip.”

little bunny girl

Easter now behind us, I guess we can say we are officially into the Spring Season here in Oklahoma.  That is a time of the year, of new life, renewal is what a lot of us call it, a time when a man’s thoughts turn to love and his ideas change.

Men on this site, those that do come here, come looking for “Bikini’s” for some reason?  I don’t know why, there are not a lot of Bikini’s on this site, nor are there a lot of men.  The majority of the readers of this site are women, most of them in the California, Texas and Virginia areas of the country.

We have a lot of ladies that read this that live outside of Atlanta, and most of them are for the better part, rather well educated, I have had the privilege of seeing some of them, and we have our fair share of “lookers” in our midst.

Creative Endeavors has the best of both worlds, we have the lookers and the very smart … And as an added bonus … We has Me!

Can’t beat that.

This morning I am looking at the stat’s and I see that Barack’s House is again replaced and relegated to the #2 spot.  I have this little post, “Bikinis (The reason men are pigs) that I wrote last summer (July 26th) and it has held down the #1 spot rather well for five or six weeks now, ever since a couple days after the election.  It has had some 9,231 views this year alone, and is quite popular for some reason.

When I do check the stat’s I find this curious thing.  Everyday, not just every now and then, but almost everyday I find search engine terms like:  Bikini girls, girls in bikinis, girls bikinis, men bikinis, big girls bikinis, and of course, Charlie Daniels for President.

And it is not just spring, when a man’s fancy turns to forbidden fruit.  Where lanes are bight with cherry young men ran to dazzle and kiss the rose lipped girls, springs first budding often bears a bitter fruit, and when the dusk is humming, and the girls come out to play    ..  ah spring.

But we were talking about Bikini’s I digress (a common habit of mine).

When a man and a woman think about Bikini’s, they tend to think differently, much differently, I would say.  A woman will think about items like “mid drift” areas, which kind of sounds like a section of the continental shelf out in the Atlantic where tuna fish boat captains sit idly for hours staring a small sonar screen waiting on the mid drift shelf tuna schools to appear.  Women think about cellulite and excess pubic hair in areas that are not supposed to have excess pubic anything.

They think size, shape, color.  Check it out here.

Men on the other hand, they think about sun glasses.  Because men KNOW that women can HEAR the sound of a muscle being flexed in your neck when the head turns to check out something that just walked by that was shapely, young, and wearing a dental floss thong, and they know YOU are looking.  Women know things like that.

This is why when me hear the word “Bikini” they naturally think of something else, men think about sunglasses, the deep dark one’s or the ones like The Boss in Cool Hand Luke wore, the mirrored type.

Just as well I stay away from the subject of skimpy bathing attire and the beach in general.  The last time we did head out to Florida and the beach, the grand babies kept trying to grab me by my ankles and drag me into the ocean.


dsc00217

The oldest would scream something like “Get him in the ocean before he dies! Or something like that.”  At least that is what they told their grandmother.

I would like to hang around and feed you some more of the loaf, but a slice at a time is all I have today, check back in with me tomorrow and hopefully I will have discovered something of interest for all you by then.

See You In The Funny Papers.

OOO

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