I saw this thing yesterday on the news where this flight attendant does a “rap boarding” announcement on the plane, and everyone seems to think this is soooooo cool.  Just what I need, shell out $400 for a plane ticket and have to sit through some Jethro singing rap emergency rules to me on the pre-flight.  Here is another thing, they always say “we will now begin the boarding process.”  Not necessary.  Boarding is sufficient.  “We will now begin the boarding.”

Simple.  Tells the story.

People are always adding extra words when they want things to sound more important than they really are.  Like the people who write Creative Endeavors, that would be a good example of it right there.  “Boarding process” sounds important, but it isn’t.  It is just a bunch of knot-heads getting on an airplane.

How about an article on Dick Cheney?

Boo!

Bet I scared you ha-ha.

No Cheney today, new playlist in the machine, have the earphones on, and we will see … we will see.  Read an article on this Pulitzer Winning Author in Florida, who every day, would put on the noise canceling earphones and then go into his Florida Room and write.  Must be nice, to look out the window, see nothing but a windswept panorama of sea and sky, no noise, no distractions.

Must be nice.

In my case I have the headphones and insulation, that always helps, as it blocks out a lot of the noise.  Then there is this tiny minute microphone deep inside the earphones that actually hears the noise that is un-blockable and conveys its frequency and amplitude to the electronics.  They in turn generate a “reverse sound wave” (180 degrees out of phase with the noise) and feed it into the headphone speakers.  This subtracts from the noisy sound wave which is actually a phenomenon called destructive interference.  Which is not to be confused with constructive interference which would be a matching sound wave, which would make it in fact, louder.

So much to today’s science lesson huh?

Great writers have to be motivated I suspect.  Florida it seems, any time of the year, would be a great motivator.  I on the other hand, trapped amongst the trash of man have barking dogs, fire trucks, dirt bikes on the weekends and the ever present police helicopter (Ghetto Bird) overhead most of the time.  Ambiance has a lot to do with it I would assume.

The serenity of the moment adds to the mix.

So we write, those of us with no real lives.  And we convey the idea and thoughts of the day, to the page, and print the page, and share the nugget of truth, as we see it with you.  We show you that life is rarely exactly as we would like it to be, but instead, life is exactly as it is.  We write when we are happy and when we are sad, we write when we are motivated and not so engaged.  We write when we are depressed and when we are twitterpated with utter glee.

Which would be complete and immediate infatuation with someone or something that occurs during the week or the onset of spring (whichever comes first) or another viewing of Pure Country or Walt Disney’s Bambi as you may be inclined or disposed to do on the weekend.

And we stroke you in our ingenuous way, as my friend on the left-coast of America (Kalli-forn-yuh) puts it, give you “the set up.”  We use the set-up to amuse and confuse, and we shape it in a way where if done correctly, you never see it coming.

For instance: The financial crisis explained in simple terms…

Trisha is the proprietor of a bar in Goteebo, Oklahoma. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed alcoholics – to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Trisha’s bar.  Taking advantage of her customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Trisha increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Trisha’s borrowing limit.  He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Trisha’s bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.  Trisha cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.  DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95%. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.

The suppliers of Trisha’s bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.  The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.

Look!  Dick Cheney!

Boo! Bet I scared you ha-ha.

Have A Great Weekend (We will now begin the boarding process).

OOO