I have issues — You’ve got issues —

We’ve all got issues.

No one is “normal.”  If you know someone who is normal, then most likely that “normal” person is the most boring person on the face of the earth.  They probably watch a lot of CSPAN2 and listen to Creed when they want to rock out.  And, they probably have more issues hidden away than anyone.

Face it … We’re all freaks with issues.

The trick is finding that special someone whose issues compliment your own.  I have more issues than I know what to do with.  I have to keep my issues filed alphabetically in a giant, metal cabinet in one corner of the garage just to keep track.  I have issues with WordPress.com and some of the features not working.  Their apparent reluctance to fix some glitches in this new stuff.  Not answering email or inquiries.

Like I said, “I have a system to deal with all this.”  Unfortunately, this system doesn’t always work though.  Often I forget I have a fear of commitment and actually get a email from someone who genuinely likes me, only to be reminded of it when updating my files.

Oh there’s more.  I often feel the need to make a joke out of everything.  I was once was escorted out of a theater during a screening of “Shindlers List.  I really laughed hard when the Brontosaur’s Rex or whatever it was ate the lawyer who was sitting in the outhouse in Jurassic Park.”  I am sorry I just found that so amusing. Just like this, I saw this and I just cracked up, but my wife says it is not funny.

Overcoming Social Shyness.

(Thanks to Bits & Pieces.com who often brighten my day)

Terminally emotionally afflicted, I am kind of insecure, yet at the same time I think I am the coolest thing in the room.  I’d think that even if Beck and/or Ashley Judd were in the room too.  Also, I am addicted to “talk show” television and rarely go without one day without my Oprah or Dr. Phil and my other favorites.

To be totally fair, I am not all that sure that this isn’t more of an addiction than an issue.  Take George Dubya Bush, I don’t believe I am ever going to like that guy and I know I am never going to leave him alone.

We can be sure there are probably more serious issues than Bush and WordPress.com that I could be divulging, like the fact that I am willing to share my issues on some stupid webpage for the entire world to see.  Freely willing to spring them on the next unsuspecting poor soul that happens to wander over here.

From what has been transpiring around the nation here lately, it appears that a lot of people are truly experiencing pain dealing with their issues.  And unfortunately the media gleefully has no problem showing the rest of us, all of them, secret or not, embarrassing or not.

“Can you tell me Senator, why it is you have controlling-mother issues and therefore find yourself tapping your feet in the bathroom stall?”

“Why is it after making your first movie you decided to tell the rest of the country that you are a chronic bed-wetter and have a serious aversion to Grey Poupon?”

“Madam Speaker … How can you describe something as fake, silicon, saline, or otherwise augmented as air bags?”

People are so prone to just putting their issues out there and allowing the rest of us to deal with them.  For instance a T-shirt that reads, “Wanna score with an old geezer?  Ask me how.” I am sorry, but that is an issue I would rather not deal with.

And then there is the “entitlement issue” that seems so prevalent in today’s society.  I cannot stand people who think their issues entitle them to some sort of special treatment.  I am not talking about serious psychological conditions that require medication like Prozac to deal with life.  I am not suggesting that people with multiple personality disorders or manic depression just need to “deal with it.”

What we are describing here is all these stupid issues we all carry around like insecurity, fear of commitment, daddy-never-loved-me-so-I-irritate people on the Internet a lot, and so on.    It’s so unfair!  I didn’t get the job because I am not pretty … C’mon.

What I am saying is we all have issues, so we can’t really expect everyone to adjust to our issues.  No one is going to walk up and say, “Do you need some help carrying that emotional baggage?” because most of us are too overloaded with our own.

Everyone needs to deal with his/her own issues, which in many cases, aren’t really that damn important in the long run. A great many folks experiencing issues with Mr. Obama right now … Before him it was Hillary … Before that … Bob Hope, Reagan, The Beatles, Tom Cruise and Britney’s underwear … It is always something.

We, as a society need to rub some dirt on it, take a breath, and walk it off.  Like me for instance, “I seriously need to learn how to deal with this wordpress.com crap and spare the rest of you the details.”

My, my, look at the time.

Once again gang … It is time to close, thank you for allowing me to share this time of semi-hysterical consciousness, this irritating period between naps, with all of you.

Hope it wasn’t too awfully painful.

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