Two-Thousand and Nine

I never thought I would live this long, yet alone, be here to see it happen. It came like a thief in the night, and because I am an old geezer, I slept right thru it. So I now have my disposal, a completely new year (which is better than last year, all I got last year was less than nine months) to devote to the ever-evolving bastardization of the written and spoken language and cultural idolization of celebrities and politicians in America.

Yes, it is a tough job, but someone has to do it.

A totally New Year … I am as always over joyed. I can now make fun of people who use expressions such as “Aw, snap, son. Check ou the fine-ass sho-tee rockin’ all dat ice.” Which translates to: “Hello, my good sir. Take a gander at the beautiful woman wearing the expensive jewels.”

I can continue to cover the political scene as it unravels the fabric of American Society with such wonderful quotes as: “It’s time to put on the brakes and move ahead.” Iowa Democratic primary gubernatorial hopeful Michael Blouin, during a debate. Dan Quayle may be gone, but the fields are still ripe and the glean is good.

Believe it or not, you are currently reading one of the “fastest growing wordpress.com blogs” there are. And by the grace of Father Time and a paid up subscription to WordPress.com/Internet providers, we have been allowed 12 more months for our particular brand of insanity. Who says there isn’t a God? Now we can continue the practice of giving you all the latest statistic’s on the not so important things in life.

Stuff like: “According to a survey, 85% of men admit they surf the Internet wearing nothing but their underwear. 63% percent state that is how they lost their last job.” Or comments such as “Thanks to the Internet, I had my identity stolen a few months back, but I didn’t notify anyone about it, as the Cyber Criminals were spending less on my Credit Cards than my wife.“

12 more months of giving you an alternative to the news. “Here are ten more things that are really going to upset you and p*** you off … film at eleven!” Live, Local, Late Breaking …. And it is not going to be good. The news in 2008 was so downright bad, it made me so paranoid, I actually installed a rear-view-blind-spot- mirror on my stationary bike.

If it were not for the comments section of Margaret & Helen I would have most likely went completely bonkers.

I just finished reading another email missive on the banking crisis and once again the news is dismal, very dire, and I find myself perplexed, and anxious.

New Year or not. I just wish it would all go away, I feel as if I am being sucked into it, I did not create this mess, I am not responsible for it, and I should not have to cope with it on a daily basis. That is how I feel about it.

A New Year to talk about the current state of things in the economy which always has me deeply concerned. I used to laugh and make fun of old age, saying things such as “Be kind to your kids, they are the one’s that pick out your Rest Home” and making light of it all. But it has gotten so damn bad in this country, now it is looking like “Hey, let’s drive Grandpa down the Interstate a ways, and leave him in the rest area.”

Not very encouraging any more y’know it.

It would be much better for me, my life in general that is, if I could just come in here early in the morning, sit down with my fresh cup of coffee and my little pile of banana chips, and write about having a nice day. But the well-known “Have A Nice Day” has just died off, it has been replaced with “Hope You Have A Good One?” — “Ýou don’t like the price. Go somewhere else.” – “You owe me two more pennies.” — or something like that.

Just like finding a good Home Depot or Star Bucks that is still open — There aren’t many nice days around anymore, face it.

Happy New Years … Here we go, 1 million hits by March 12^th, 2009 … Tell all your friends, I have already told mine, all three of ‘em.

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