What is that television soap, oh yeah, “Days Of Our Lives.“ where the hourglass of time has the sand slowly flowing thru and they wax poetic with some kind of phrase or something like that? I don’t have one sorry … Just trying like the rest of you to find a way to hardwire myself for what is coming down the pike in the New Year. As usual, I have a few observations.
Here is the shortlist of what I do not want to hear in 2009.
Al Qaida — Any word ending with “z” — Taliban — Pakistan — Ubekistan — Gay Man — Guaranteed — Guaranteed unconditionally — Money back guarantee — Not covered by warranty — Xtreme — Has some side effects — Diarrhea — George Bush — Jeb Bush — Burning bush
Rich & Beefy flavor — New & Improved — I have a headache — refresh your browser — Check settings — invalid password — War on Anything — Maxi or Super Flo — Madonna — Britney — Anne Heche — Jared Fogle — Jerry Springer — Rush — Her-Raldo! — Security Level Yellow/Red — Trim anything — Rake anything — Live, Local, Late Breaking — Chopper 4,5,9 — Byrant Gumbel
Buzz words or phrases I do not want to hear in the New Year:
Tax Relief to the lower income folks — Preparation H — I am so not into that! — Lie, whatever? — Not! — Don’t go there — Talk to the hand — Get Over It — Totally Awesome — Especially “totally” awesomeness! — Hello, you have been picked at random — It happens — take out the trash — No payments until 2010 — otherwise the terrorists win — Wall Street — Plumber Joe — Bail Out — Good For The Country.
Dick Cheney — Presidential Pardon — you go girl! — Your order has been misplaced — Gitmo — Reality Show — FOX anything — Been there, done that, got the T-shirt — My car is making this funny kachuga-kachuga sound — Win/win situation — Sarah anything.
America is truly standing on the threshold of greatness, there are challenges here that can either get us back on track or destroy us, the choice is up to us. We need to stay focused and be resolute in our actions, we need to change the way things are done in this country, and we need to do it now.
One year isn’t going to “get ‘er done” as Larry The Cable Guy sez …. But it can be a positive step in the right direction.
I best wrap this up before the wordpress.com word police or some other jackbooted entity shows up to lock me down. So there you go, your own personal philosophy for 2009. Sift thru it, save what is worthy, and toss the rest.
Think about it.
Life is just another beautiful buffet, and you get only one trip thru the line, only one plate. And there is never, ever, any room on the plate for green jello — remember that. If everything is under control, then you are moving way too slow. No one ever followed a park car. Get busy, change your world and at the same time, help someone else around you.
Another year down the tubes, what a year, almost one million hits in less than 9 months (866,000+), 720 articles, lot of video’s, jokes, good times and comments. I can just hear the reviews coming in now:
- “Missed Again” … The Daily Oklahoman, Okie City Oklahoma.
- “A very short novel.” The Waco, Texas, Chronic Vegetable
- “This is it? This is the sum total of the endeavor?” Arkansas Dependent-Statesperson
- “Somebody, please wake me up” Santa Cruz Beachcomber, Santa Cruz, California
- “Not enough sex” my Republican cousin Ralph in Muleshoe, Texas”
- Where is the truth, the logic, the wisdom?” Grand Prairie Pioneer, Lincoln Nebraska.
- “He should have paid more attention” my 10th grade English Teacher.
TWO-THOUSAND-AND-NINE? What is coming down the pike for you and I? Who knows. We are going to try and hit the magic number and I am going to fly to Chicago and jump on Oprahs couch! But mostly, I am gonna keep choppin’ and watch where those chips fly! One more New Year on the horizon, and this one is gonna be a doozy.
If perhaps nothing here rows your boat, and it did not lift your spirits, I have one more bullet in the chamber. Winter time giving you the blues? Check this one out, it will give you a lift. Norman’s Wife.
I am outta here (have been for a long, long time).