Soviet Leader Putin was in town recently, visiting the United States, and he met a Russian who immigrated to the USA. “What do you do for a living here, in this new country,” he asked.
And then the young fellow said to him, “My sister and I we work in a big factory.” Then Putin replied, “How do these American Capitalists pigs treat you?”
And the man answered, “Just fine.”
“In fact, if you are walking home from work, the boss picks you up in his big car and drives you to your door. Another time, he treats you to a dinner in an expensive restaurant. Sometimes he takes you home for the weekend and buys you presents! Putin suddenly taken aback visibly, asked, “How often does this happen?”
“Well, to me, actually never. But to my sister, several times.”
It occurred to me yesterday that I may have been become lax in my duties, here lately I have been writing all of this “upbeat and comical, often, almost funny material” and have not irked or irritated anyone lately. I am sorry. I should have been paying more attention to increasing my nuisance value, and for that I apologize.
So today, I would like to try and make it up to the majority of you who are disappointed in me and feel let down. I will now put forth an honest and decent attempt to upset your apple cart, and please remember, “that blanks are optional” fill in your own favorite expletive at random.
Let’s get started!
Monday morning, you showed up for work, good for you! (Quick over your right shoulder, it is your boss, he is reading this! …. Hah, gotcha, best be careful today) So today, this morning, you showed up for work, all bright eyed and bushy tailed as my Daddy used to say.
Here is your reward: “You get to pay a bunch of taxes on the money you make this day.” This is what you get for showing up for work, you get to pay taxes. You get to pay a whole lotta taxes, Y’all.
I hate to tell you this, but it gets worse.
A 2008 study by Sen. Tom Colburn (R) Oklahoma found that “federal workers” don’t always bother showing up for work. During the seven years starting in 2001, federal “workers” took 2.5 million days worth of absences without leave (AWOL). That figures out to be about 9,410 man-years of no work at high pay.
In the service, if you were AWOL you were in BIG TROUBLE and it usually meant a close personal relationship with ship-board Marines and a small cubicle with bars on it. But evidently in the government, there is no penalty other than we will ask you to not do that anymore.
So here we are, we are at work.
When we do good, they issue us a paycheck, minus this and minus that, and with what is left over (usually not all that much) you are given the profound pleasure of paying taxes. Every day Americans pay sales taxes, property taxes, gasoline taxes, phone taxes, taxes on water, beer, coffee, utilities, income taxes, Social Security Taxes, and if you are so stupid and foolish as to die, well they have a tax for that, aptly named “The Death Tax” and you are taxed on that too.
Wouldn’t be so bad, if it were not for this one hang-up in the system. Most of you, the majority, you spend your money wisely and the government, well, they don’t. This is the part that most folks deeply resent, the fact that they take away from you and your family, to spend very unwisely the stipend that you have worked so hard to earn. And remember, “you showed up to work today” a lot of them … did not.
Are we having fun yet boys & girls?
We have all these “elected bozo’s” that are sucking us dry, they are building bridges to nowhere, they have these little ditties they call “earmarks” and “they pay people to NOT make things, to NOT grow things, and they make a lot more money than you do, and of course, have better benefits.”
When you bellow, “Hey, knock it off! I am sick of this ____ !”
They look at you as if you are crazy and then demand of you, “Show us what “services” you want cut.” On the same token, when they vote themselves a nice healthy raise, or raise your taxes, they do not bother to inform you of what you will have to go without to furnish the monies they want or need. And they are needy, they want you to go without less money for the kids, the house, and the retirement.
They focus only on the governments’ needs … Not yours.
And believe it or not, they are so accommodating it is almost sickening. Did you realize that there are now seven states that have “Tax Me More” accounts, where liberals who support more taxes can send additional money to the government if they believe the state will spend their money more wisely than they will.
Hardly anyone does.
Now look at these folks that have billions of dollars, do you see them giving them blindly to the government to spend? No, surely not. Billionaires give their money to foundations, and they usually will be members of the board of these foundations (thus giving them some control over where there money is being allocated or spent). Billionaires and legions of liberal politicians believe your taxes should be even higher than they are right now, why? Because they believe they are smarter than you and know how to spend it more wisely.
Which might be true. You showed up today, they didn’t. And they got paid just as much as you. Don’t you just wish they would just leave you alone.
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