Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

December 31, 2008

Gearing Up for ’09

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 5:57 PM
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wired-for-change

What is that television soap, oh yeah, “Days Of Our Lives.“  where the hourglass of time has the sand slowly flowing thru and they wax poetic with some kind of phrase or something like that?  I don’t have one sorry … Just trying like the rest of you to find a way to hardwire myself for what is coming down the pike in the New Year.  As usual, I have a few observations.

Here is the shortlist of what I do not want to hear in 2009.

Al Qaida — Any word ending with “z” — Taliban — Pakistan — Ubekistan — Gay Man — Guaranteed — Guaranteed unconditionally — Money back guarantee — Not covered by warranty — Xtreme — Has some side effects — Diarrhea — George Bush — Jeb Bush — Burning bush

Rich & Beefy flavor — New & Improved — I have a headache — refresh your browser — Check settings — invalid password — War on Anything — Maxi or Super Flo — Madonna — Britney — Anne Heche — Jared Fogle — Jerry Springer — Rush — Her-Raldo! — Security Level Yellow/Red — Trim anything — Rake anything — Live, Local, Late Breaking — Chopper 4,5,9 — Byrant Gumbel

Buzz words or phrases I do not want to hear in the New Year:

Tax Relief to the lower income folks — Preparation H — I am so not into that! — Lie, whatever? — Not! — Don’t go there — Talk to the hand — Get Over It — Totally Awesome — Especially “totally” awesomeness! — Hello, you have been picked at random — It happens — take out the trash — No payments until 2010 — otherwise the terrorists win — Wall Street — Plumber Joe — Bail Out — Good For The Country.

Dick Cheney — Presidential Pardon — you go girl! — Your order has been misplaced — Gitmo — Reality Show — FOX anything — Been there, done that, got the T-shirt — My car is making this funny kachuga-kachuga sound — Win/win situation —  Sarah anything.

America is truly standing on the threshold of greatness, there are challenges here that can either get us back on track or destroy us, the choice is up to us.  We need to stay focused and be resolute in our actions, we need to change the way things are done in this country, and we need to do it now.

One year isn’t going to “get ‘er done” as Larry The Cable Guy sez …. But it can be a positive step in the right direction.

I best wrap this up before the wordpress.com word police or some other jackbooted entity shows up to lock me down.  So there you go, your own personal philosophy for 2009.  Sift thru it, save what is worthy, and toss the rest.

Think about it.

Life is just another beautiful buffet, and you get only one trip thru the line, only one plate.  And there is never, ever, any room on the plate for green jello — remember that.  If everything is under control, then you are moving way too slow.  No one ever followed a park car.  Get busy, change your world and at the same time, help someone else around you.

Another year down the tubes, what a year, almost one million hits in less than 9  months (866,000+), 720 articles, lot of video’s, jokes, good times and comments.  I can just hear the reviews coming in now:

  • “Missed Again” … The Daily Oklahoman, Okie City Oklahoma.
  • “A very short novel.”  The Waco, Texas, Chronic Vegetable
  • “This is it?  This is the sum total of the endeavor?”  Arkansas Dependent-Statesperson
  • “Somebody, please wake me up” Santa Cruz Beachcomber, Santa Cruz, California
  • “Not enough sex” my Republican cousin Ralph in Muleshoe, Texas”
  • Where is the truth, the logic, the wisdom?”  Grand Prairie Pioneer, Lincoln Nebraska.
  • “He should have paid more attention” my 10th grade English Teacher.

TWO-THOUSAND-AND-NINE?  What is coming down the pike for you and I?  Who knows.  We are going to try and hit the magic number and I am going to fly to Chicago and jump on Oprahs couch!  But mostly, I am gonna keep choppin’ and watch where those chips fly!  One more New Year on the horizon, and this one is gonna be a doozy.

If perhaps nothing here rows your boat, and it did not lift your spirits, I have one more bullet in the chamber.  Winter time giving you the blues?  Check this one out, it will give you a lift.  Norman’s Wife.

I am outta here (have been for a long, long time).

Check Please.

000

Most likely got this

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 6:29 AM

diller

Back To First And Ten

(home page)

Melts in Your Mouth

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 6:25 AM

mms

More than likely here is what he got

Thanks to Bits & Pieces

Dark Angel

Filed under: Oklahoma,politics,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 4:39 AM
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kissers

Legacy Of The Gods Part II.  Our resident loyal soldier of the corrupt Army of Texas has been voicing her praise for our soon to be no longer good guy president.  Man, this line is really getting a bit tired by this point in time.

Our angelic host of the Bush administration has been spouting off about his legacy and the fact that history will see it a LOT DIFFERENT than the current REALITY seems to be.  Condolesa Rice is officially supporting the Pathos of the Bush Administration and telling everyone that history will prove that Bush was a great President in the final tally.

And today it was also announced by the New Republican Scientific Community in Washington, that if frogs had wings they would not bump their rear when they hopped.  Angelic host to testify, glorify or multiply, it isn’t going to work.

Or in other words — Excuse me while I take a moment to grab my trashcan and vomit.  I am hard pressed between a rock and a hard place, I cannot figure out which one disgusts me the most, it is either her or Sarah Palin, and I cannot force myself to make a choice.  Frankly I have been down the road already with Hilary, so it is one of these two, left for me to decide upon.

As for history — Everything that Bush receives in the end, he will deserve, and I don’t believe it is going to be flattering, no matter who writes it.

Tis’ the time of the year, when members of faith-based organizations everywhere (such as the 700 club and the Taliban) gather together separately in celebration of the universal principle of Eternal Light emergent from Darkness and their joyful individual convictions that they are right about whichever particular God they believe originally thought up the idea of life.

At least that is the way it seems on the cable channels twenty-four-seven here lately.

It seems likely, however, that way back in the days before the various god’s appeared, nature had already thought it up, as manifest by the equinox and the earth’s subsequent inevitable and highly appropriate tendency to spend half the year moving in the direction most likely to make life pleasant for residents of the Northern Hemisphere.

Did you ever notice that all the locales around the world that have the most trouble also appear to have the best weather?  Wonder why it is that this happens?

The gods also gave all the abundant resources to America.  MTV, Hot Rod Chevy’s, microwave popcorn, WalMart, and Days of Our Lives, State Fairs, cotton-candy, highways to all of God’s wonderful tapestry, cheap gas, and beautiful women.

No wonder everyone in the world hates the west.

We have all the neatest things in life, pretty good weather and the Bush doctrine … where could you possibly find a better deal than this.

“And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from the Evil Doer Caesar Augustus of Dallas, that all the good folks in the world, as it were, should be taxed.  And make no mistake — The Evil One and all those evil folks went after these good people of faith, and smoked ‘em out, and got ‘em on the run, every one into his own city.”

“And there were in the same country shepherds, if you will, who were good, hard working, law-abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flocks, as it were, by night.”

And make no mistake — those were good people of faith, and the dark angel of the Lord, as it were, came upon those folks, and the glory of the Lord, if you will, shone ’round about those good folks: and those good, decent people were sore afraid.”

“And the dark angel, she said unto them, should you be afraid?  No.  Do I bring you tidings of great joy?  Yes.  And, yes, it shall be to all you folks as it were.”

“And make no mistake (my fourth paragraph beginning in “And” which I believe testifies that I am on a roll here) — and make no mistake — suddenly, as it were, there was with the dark angel a multitude of good, decent folks who were with the heavenly host praising God, if you will, and saying Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will, if you will toward all of you good, decent, hard-working, law-abiding American folks.”

bush-n-company

Martin Luther King said it better than I ever possibly could, he said:

“History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.”

America, a nation of Democracy and Religious Freedom, a strong hearty race, who seem to worship all the wrong Gods.

May the “peace that passeth all understanding” find your understanding a bit of a challenge to subdue.


A totally brand-new year — May you be fortunate in your choice of Gods.  May you be one of the fortunate few who still have a way to make a living in 2009.

(Amen)

000

December 30, 2008

God-Less Dawgs

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 6:09 PM
Tags: , , , , , , ,

bad_things_good_people_book

This mornings paper says that we are turning into a nation of pandering, God-less dogs, and that there is a decline in believers in this country.

In 2003, 90% of all American’s believed in a God, that is down to 80%.  82% of us used to believe in Heaven, now only 73% are sure it is still there.

68% of people surveyed believe in the devil (Satan) and only 59% appear to think he is still around.

69% of people believe that there is a place reserved for the evil, wicked and nasty, and only 62% in 2008 are now convinced of that.

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.  A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:  “I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here.  I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave his sister VD”.

“I was of course appalled, he went on to say. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people….”

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late.  He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:  “I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,” said the politician. ‘In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.’

Moral:

Never,  Never,  Never Be Late

There is also a new survey out on Bush, if anyone cares.  America can’t wait for Bush to leave. Mr. Bush is currently on vacation in Crawford, Texas.  This is the #1 bush-to-bushPresident in vacation time, more than any other sitting president, and now that a new war has broken out in the Middle East he slinks away to Camp David.

He has decided to conveniently sit this one out (something he seems to be very good at Katrina, 9-11?) and is not going to intervene.  Most likely he would be totally ineffective anyway, that is what his track record implies 99.6% of the time. What is interesting is that this problem between Israel and The Palestinians this is the same thing that he said “he would alleviate or fix in the next 19 months before leaving office.”

Looks like the ship has sailed on this one too.

A new CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll finds that 75 percent of Americans are glad President Bush is leaving office; just 23 percent indicated that they will miss him. CNN notes that when Clinton left office, more Americans – 45 percent – said they would miss him. Twenty-eight percent also believe that Bush is the worst president
ever.

Next time you see a commercial on “Clean Coal” and all your buddies in the coal industry, think about this mess in Tennessee.

On last Monday, toxic coal sludge burst through a retention wall in eastern Tennessee, causing massive property and environmental damage. Federal studies have shown that coal ash contains “significant quantities of heavy metals like arsenic, lead and selenium, which can cause cancer and neurological problems.”

The incident – already being called the “largest environmental disaster of its kind in the United States” – may now be even worse than originally anticipated. Tennessee Valley Authority officials “initially said that about 1.7 million cubic yards of wet coal ash had spilled” in the disaster. Yesterday, however, they “released the results of an aerial survey that showed the actual amount was 5.4 million cubic yards, or enough to flood more than 3,000 acres one foot deep.”  Read more here:  Tennessee coal ash disaster three times larger than originally estimated.

Someone tried to hack my bank account.

Today when I went online to check some things, it gave me an error code, asked me to reset my password and I became suspicious, and went back to the original page and did it again (remember me?) and it gave me access.  It said that I had “exhausted all my available attempts at opening my account with my password.”  Which was not right, I had not been on the account in days, and I KNOW WHAT MY PASSWORD is, so that dog didn’t hunt.  I guess no one is impervious to this kind of behavior, sure didn’t think it would happen to me, but it has.  Ran a virus scan, which I had not done in a week or so, and there they were, four of them little nasty ##@##$@##@^* right on my hard drive.

Favorite Oklahoma Blog or Blog of the Year in Oklahoma

This is more or less “local news” Mike at OkieDoke.com has posted the necessary instructions for voting for your favorite Oklahoma Blog of the Year on his site.  If you wish to vote for Creative Endeavors or any other blog you want honored you can do it at his site.

More than likely all I will get is an “honorable mention” or something like that.  They are kind of “clannish” and “we are kind of independent” and I am not a dues paying member of the clan (mostly Staunch Republicans, and myself being a registered heathen dog …. hahahahaha).  Vote if you want to, everyone loves to vote!

Uh We just stepped out for some Twinkies and some Ding Dongs officer

Anchorage, Alaska — Fire caused by unattended cooking led to the discovery of marijuana plants at an apartment. Firefighters found more than 50 plants at the residence Saturday night. No one was home at the time, but when the occupants returned, police were waiting for them. Police forwarded the matter to the district attorney.

Now you know things are bad, when the Lottery is losing money

Richmond, Virginia — State lottery officials are hoping for a late surge in sales to push their second New Year’s Millionaire Raffle past the break-even point. As of Monday morning, about 190,000 tickets had been sold, officials said. The agency needs to sell about 300,000 by Wednesday night to avoid taking a loss.

Strange Doings In The Heart Land

Awhile back, I read this piece where a group of Islanders in the South Pacific wanted to fell a tree for a canoe, they would assemble the entire village and then after picking out a suitable tree, the entire village would walk around and around the base of this tree, shouting and yelling at it.  Their collective theory on this was that the “shouting and the yelling killed the tree” and when it eventually fell (because they had effectively trampled its shallow root system) they would harvest it for a canoe.

Now I am sorry, but I always considered this rather primitive and somewhat stupid.

Then today I read about this tribe in Vincennes Indiana — Residents in southwestern Indiana’s melon belt will celebrate the New Year by watching a 550-pound steel-and-foam watermelon soar into the sky and release nine real watermelons as the clock strikes midnight. The giant watermelon includes internal lighting, so it will glow as its lifted 100 feet by a crane.

All of sudden, all those folks in the South Pacific are looking much, much better.

000

Mayberry’s Hero

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 5:58 AM
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

opieWatched some captivating and interesting television last night (for a change).  It celebrated the history and the works of Ron Howard (Opie Taylor), all of his movies as a producer and director.

His efforts on the screen as a child actor and star.  I certainly was not aware of the copious volumes of his work, and it was interesting as all get out.

Glued to the tube, I microwaved me some day old pizza and stayed up well past my appointed retirement time, to finish it all.  I seldom do that.  If you missed it, I am so sorry for you, it was memorable TV and you don’t find that much anymore.

So what else is going on, let’s get started.

Now they are saying that “recyclables” are taking it in the shorts, and the price of everything, plastic, newsprint, cardboard, alum.cans, copper all of it is tanking.

The city is now reporting that recycling outfits are reneging on contracts and not taking any more material, because there is simply “no money in it anymore.”  All recyclables are now again, headed for the dumps or county landfill.

Did you ever think you would live long enough to see a time in your life when garbage was worthless?  Well, that time has arrived.

When economies shut down, as they are doing worldwide, then the demand for raw materials declines, and that seems to be in play here.  China having shut down a lot of its industrial might, Japan no longer needing steel for cars it cannot sell here or abroad, no one is buying.  And the people that do have it (material) are holding onto it hoping for better prices down the line.

The Age of Scarcity is here.

Kind of makes you wonder, “if everything is not in demand, and if it is all being packaged smaller and smaller” then why are some companies posting massive profits.  Because they are giving you less and charging you more.

Take Kraft Foods for instance.  The company’s income soars to new heights, and the first thing Kraft does is put out a statement to defend the obscene profits.

The CEO of Kraft foods put out an erroneous statement that a high percentage of food stocks are being diverted for use in the production of fuel, estimates as high as 40%.  Along with other absurd statements such as “almost half of all grains, dairy, vegetables, meats and fruit in the world are being used to convert into fuel.”

Which is simply not true and in no way justifies the obscene profits that Kraft is making.  The United Nations reports that about 3.7 billion acres of land is used for farming and of that, less than 1% of that is used for the production of alternative fuels.

Food companies have blamed bio fuels all year long in order to justify high prices. Kraft posted $1.4 billion in earnings last quarter alone.

Adjusted for inflation, corn, and wheat have dropped by 50% since spring and soybean prices are lower than they have been since the great depression.  Isn’t it funny, when the price of a barrel of oil went down, so did the price of fuel.  But it evidently doesn’t work that way with the people who process food.

Anyone notice, or is it just me?  The count on the number of active rigs looking for new sources of oil nationwide has steadily declined in the past 4 to 6 weeks.  When the price of the product sinks, they stop looking, when someone stops buying their product, they don’t refine it, to drive up the price, and now according to the latest rig count, it appears that it is no longer profitable to drill for oil so they are shutting down all the rigs.

Surprisingly our dependence on foreign sources must have disappeared and there is no longer a viable reason to explore for more.  Who would’ve thought that?  I now understand in the U.K. they are trying to put “speed limiters” on automobiles (that would be an engine governor over here) in order to cut emissions and cut down on fuel use.

At least someone is still in the ballgame.

Here is today’s Rasberry Award to Redding California who should be moved to the top of the list (If you don’t know what list I am talking about, email me and I will gladly point it out to you) — Shasta County health officials are cracking down on an 86-year-old disabled World War II veteran who has been selling homemade fruitcakes for more than a decade.

An obscure law bans food businesses in private homes, the Department of Environmental Health said. Officials said Jack Melton must use a commercial bakery that has passed a health inspection. Melton said his sales helped supplement his Social Security benefits.

A scumbag banker can get away with murder, but we crank it down on an old Vet. that is so sad.

Providence Rhode Island residents are scooping up $20 dollar tickets in the hopes of hitting it big on a new $1 million state lottery. Only 120,000 tickets are being sold, with about 2,000 remaining. The winner will be chosen during a New Year’s Eve drawing. Besides the top prize, there are 10 drawings for $10,000, 100 chances to win $500 and 500 chances to win $100.

New War in the Middle East or another round of the same old one, I am not sure.  Day after day the Love Fest in Washington DC continues, everyone gearing up for the big party.  Out with the old and in with the new.

Some things in the New Year will stay the same, we have what are known as constants in our lives and here are a few for you:

  • Insect spray:  “Harmful to bee’s.”  Sadly, just about everything these days is harmful to bee’s, and they are in serious decline, not only in this country, but around the world.
  • Motorcycle mirror: “Objects in the mirror are behind you.”  Duh, you think so?
  • Bag of peanuts:  “This bag contains nuts.”
  • Mattress:  “Do not attempt to swallow.  Do not remove tag under penalty of law?” There are actually people who enforce these laws?
  • Remote control:  “Not dishwasher safe.”
  • Hair blower/dryer:  “Do not use in the shower.”
  • Iron:  “Never Iron clothes on body.”
  • Wristwatch: “This is not underwear, do not put in pants.”
  • Life saving device:  “This is NOT a life saving device.”
  • “I just love that rich, beefy, hearty flavor.” People really talk like this?
  • Why is it that every tour boat on any lake in America is always called “Lady Of The Lake?”

Most of all I am so glad that we have people like Ron Howard, who can make a great movies that I can go to and get away from it all for just a little while.  It gives you a brief respite where you can mull over in your mind that terrible feeling you got as the woman drove away in her car and yells to you “Hey, Thanks A Million” and you suddenly realize that the directions you gave her were dead wrong.

Stuff like that.

000

December 29, 2008

Let’s Get Serious

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 5:32 PM
Tags: , ,

A soon to be “former” President of the United States has depicted the terrorist attacks against Americans as somehow due to slavery and past wars of conquest against the Indians.  And he was applauded at one of our most prestigious universities for saying it.  Nothing like this happened during World War II.  Even those who had grievances knew, as Joe Louis put it, “There’s nothing wrong with this country that Hitler is going to cure.”

Personally I don’t see any of it that way, but this is America in the 21st Century.

A lot of this would be almost comical in nature if it wasn’t so downright serious.  We routinely see people stand up and applaud themselves in government for NOT doing a damn thing, in fact, failing in what they set out to do in the first place.  But they stand up and give themselves high-fives and vote themselves pay raises for doing a sorry job.  And now, we are perceived to be under the threat of a total change over.  There is a lot of loose talk floating around about a change with the tag of “Socialism” attached to it also.

But just putting the issue in these terms is radically different from the mindset that pervades much of our educational system, the media, and the intelligentsia today.  Too many people today compare the United States, not to other countries, but to their own ideals.  Whatever happened to JFK’s impassioned plea, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what YOU can do for YOUR country.”  Too much of this country is being “homogenized” by people with their own private agendas.

I have been sick of it for a long time.

Take California for instance.  California, like it or not, was one of the states on the forefront of changing this country in an adverse manner.  First to print bi-lingual ballots, change over English on government signage and buildings, and to dole out the paychecks and perks to the newcomers.  Last time I looked, the California ballot was printed in eleven languages, why bother to learn English?  It is much the same here, Spanish on everything.

It is not the pilgrims or newcomers, it is us.  Most of the welfare system in California can be compared to the gross national product of a small banana republic country you cannot find on a map.  And now they bask in the fruits of their labors … They are bankrupt and out of cash.

What most don’t stop to think about is America is great because it is just that — America.

It is not little Saigon, a small piece of some border town in Mexico, or any other country.  It is America.  When everyone tries to change it into some kind of second rate satellite of where they originally migrated from then the problems start.  They don’t learn English because we cater to them.  They get the perks and the benefits, because they WORK at subverting the system, instead of integrating into it.  I also think a lot of this conversation or debate we are having here, is a tad bit one sided.

American Blacks, the American Farmer, Corporate America, Insurance companies, the banks, the oil lobby and the white Anglo-Saxon Caucasian guy down the street, have at one time or another, taken advantage of the apparent shortcomings of free and open government.  It has just deteriorated into some mindless media circus, and is really hard to spot who happens to be on top of the pile, on any given week.  We are now a nation of panders and special interest.

It always boils down to three basic choices:

  1. Accept it for what it is.
  2. If you cannot accept it for what it is, then change it.
  3. if you cannot change it, or deal with it, then move on.

The late Ayn Rand described the insidious process which takes a society, inch by unremarkable inch, to socialism.  “The goal of the liberals — as it emerges from the record of the past decades — was to smuggle this country into welfare statism by means of single concrete, specific measures, enlarging the power of the government a step at a time, never permitting these steps to be summed up into principles, never permitting their direction to be identified or the basic issue to be named.  Thus, statism was to come, not by vote or by violence, by slow rot — by a long process of evasion and epistemological corruption, leading to a fait accompli (the goals of conservatives was only to retard that process)”.

Surely there can no longer be any doubt that America is well on its way down the slippery slope to Socialism.  The government continues to grow in size, power and arrogance as it asserts increasing sovereignty over the lives and behavior of its subjects.

The noose tightens, and the rabble wear it like some kind of badge of honor.  Some tweak the system to their apparent advantage, and others, slip through the cracks.  Freedom for the most part is lost.  You can thank the Patriot Act, John Ashcroft, Bush, Cheney, and a legion of Un-Constitutional Ideologist thinking legalistic governing morons for that.

It would be rhetorically elegant and a profoundly simpler diplomatic issue if we could all just pick up and move to this social utopia that we yearn for.  Where things line up, the paperwork is always right, and the apparent benefits outweigh the evils of life.

But we can’t.

This system, or country, who some feel is unfair, unrealistic, and chaotic, is still the best thing going right now, at least for me it is.  If you don’t believe that, try anarchic Somalia which is arguably the planet’s foremost failed state, with Afghanistan and the Congo not far behind as basket-case competitors.

Find a sub-clan with a savvy leader, or a gang on a street corner and you have what passes for governing structure in much of Mogadishu and its environs.  I would rather say here and duke it out with the “special interest” groups, which seem to multiply with each passing election year, than spend one day, one hour, in any of the above listed countries.

We have, as Americans, forgotten how truly good we have it.  For my money, “Life in America is still number one.  Anything that comes in second best, is just first string in a long line of losers.”

I am not sure if this is a definition of Socialism or not, but it works for me.  But it is as I said in the beginning:  “A lot of this would be almost comical in nature if it wasn’t so downright serious.  We routinely see people stand up and applaud themselves in government for NOT doing a damn thing, in fact, failing in what they set out to do in the first place.  But they stand up and give themselves high-fives and vote themselves pay raises for doing a sorry job.”

There lie the rub, the crux of the problem.

000

Cast Thy Booty On The Water

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 4:06 AM
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

church-ladyTwo women have opened an unusual specialty shop in Raleigh, North Carolina.  Lingerie for religious women.  The Seek Ye First Lingerie Shop appeals to women who want to be “alluring” but not “sleazy,” said the two Baptist owners.  Apparently customers like the idea — the owners report brisk sales at the “thong rack.”

Hallelujah our prayers have been answered!  Ah Love.  There is a difference between love and sex.  Sex is for reliving tension and of course, love is what causes it.

Not So Swift Cracker

In Smyrna, Georgia a man was arrested after sending a hoax anthrax letter to the police chief … The tip off?  His return address was on the envelope.  I mean ….. Duh?  Can’t believe that?  Okay, try this.  “Yeah, I called earlier asking why my power was out, and you said it was because of the storm.  If that’s so, how come I just saw a car drive by my house a few minutes ago, and its lights were on?” From Leland H. Gregory’s book, “What’s the number for 9-11 again?”

Stella!  Stella!  No, wait, Adrian!  Adrian!

How about another Rocky?  Sly Stallone would love to bring Rock and Rambo back to the silver screen, but at his age, the Hollywood star fears his chances are slim.  The prospect of ANYONE paying good money to go see it is slim or next to nothing.   Traditionally movies during a recession or depression do rather well, one of the few items in a sinking economy that will still make a buck.

Heavenly Pay Back

A mother of three in the UK who claims that she had been visited by Jehovah’s Witnesses every month, for over 12 years, became fed up, stormed into Kingdom Hall, in Peace Haven, East Sussex, during a Jehovah’s Witness Service.

She began “handing out free magazines to see if they would like a copy, just like the copies of The Watchtower the Jehovah’s Witnesses hand out.  Nobody seemed to want them though and she wouldn’t leave until the police arrived.

This is why they are called “Dopers.”

A Ft. Smith Arkansas couple who called to report the theft of marijuana from their home, according to police.  And were promptly arrested for cultivation and drug paraphernalia.  And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said, “There is my creation, perfect in every way.  Oh damn it, I left pot all over the place.  Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it.  Now I have to create Republicans.”

Plum Nuts If You Ask Me

California Prune Producers have the right to change the name of prunes, the Food
and Drug Administration has ruled.  They can now call prunes, “dried plums” in order to reach a much younger segment of the American Market.

Oh yeah, almost forgot, the government at the same time, is paying prune-pickers some $17 million to take trees out of production, because of a 60,000 pound surplus.  Now that makes sense, what does that work out to?  $283 a ton … Now if that doesn’t make you – - – - nothing will.  (Blanks are optional Y’all, put in whatever works for you.)

I can hear mothers everywhere, “Johnny!  Eat your what-you-call-its?  They cost almost $8 a pound!”

Turning Another Corner

Filed under: humor,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 12:18 AM
Tags: , , ,

time


Found myself sitting around most of this day watching Beach Video’s on cable.  I like the “eye candy” and there is the added “suspense factor” that they interject into the segments.  Will Bobby be found by his mother before 28 minutes after the hour, when the commercials are scheduled to run. By the way, “they always find the missing tyke and he/she is reunited with his/her mother.”

Most of the time it is a lost little boy and I don’t know why it is that way but it is.

End of the year wrapping up here in the Heart Land, time to start considering what it is that we are going to try and do different in this New Year. Which country we will invade in the name of Democracy, where we will park the new aircraft carrier named after the president when it comes out of the shipyard.  Whether or not Bed, Bath & Beyond will have a sale in January or even still be in business by say … July?

Mostly I wonder if I will ever shell out $8.50 a pop to see another Adam Sandler movie, which is highly doubtful.  Not big on resolutions, but here is one that I could make and keep, without any problems whatsoever.  I could make an honest effort at being a much milder, congenial person ….. Naw, screw that, why would I want to tear down this wonderful reputation that I have spent years building in one day?

One thing I have settled in on for sure, is managing my email account a lot better than I did this past year, it has been for lack of a better word rather pathetic.  A chaotic mess of this and that, I hope in the New Year to organize it better and stay on top of it.  Creative Endeavors is also going to get a new home page and a totally new look.  My eyes need the break (I need more “white space” on the page), and the old design has to cease, I cannot cut the grey/grey background colors any longer.

So there are two things I wish to change, and most likely will.  I suppose we all have a little bit of the “hopeless dreamer” in us all, and we swear up and down, we will fix things.  All those pesky bothersome things that usually do not get fixed.

This is the time of the year when some of us naturally start thinking of last minute giving, beating the tax deadline of the 31st of the month and find something that can not only benefit us financially but also give you a jump on those pesky New Years Resolutions that the majority of us make, but never seem to keep.

Fortunately for Cup Cake and I, years ago we started out with virtually nothing, and somehow, we have managed to keep it all intact.  We won’t be giving anything more than we have already, we just don’t have it.

No big night out on the town either, we will stay inside our warm abode, close to each other, huddled in the dark listening to the gunshots in the neighborhood.  I remember one New Year in particular, we were in Las Vegas, and when the appointed time came, everyone was kissing everyone else, it was nice, and I have to admit, “kind of hot” until the wife looked at me and declared, “You kiss one more woman, and you will NOT be having a good year, you understand?”

In the movies, the hero always gets a last cigarette, a last request, just about anything that he requests, is granted.  Not here.  I get the final warning and not so much as a blindfold.  And of course …. “Before I kill you, there is ONE THING I want you to know.” So much for good times on Fremont Street and lip-locking with beautiful females of the species.

Ah, the once a year “I am gonna become a better person” syndrome (which in my case is HIGHLY doubtful) has arrived and it is time to re-arrange our lifestyles, our priorities and take charge of what is left of our lives.

Nothing like killing two birds with one stone.

000

December 28, 2008

Something Good About Bush

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 1:23 PM

Today I am going to write something good about Pres. Bush

Now, that was easy.

000

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