Man, I love dumb crooks. Police in Hillsborough, North Carolina, responded to a call from a bank about a man who was acting suspiciously. Capt. Dexter Davis confronted the man asked if he had a weapon. “He pushed his book bag off his shoulders, opened the bag up and held it open to me to show he didn’t have a gun,” Davis said. When Davis looked inside, there was a note in clear view. It read, “I want $10,000 in $100 bills. Don’t push no buttons, or I’ll shot you.” Davis laughed out loud, and then arrested Christopher Fields (who was also carrying a 10 inch knife) and turned him over to the F.B.I..

Now this, is an addiction. Fairbanks – A man is accused of using a chain saw to break into the village store and steal thousands of dollars worth of tobacco and candy. Nathan Henry, 19, was charged with felony burglary and felony theft, according to state troopers. A manager of the store complained after finding a 3-foot hole in one side of the log building that had apparently been cut by a chain saw.

Thieves are the hardest working people I know.

A cool one?  Temper-temper. Boise – A woman who dumped a soft drink she hadn’t paid for onto a counter at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center here was charged in federal court with three misdemeanors. Natalie Walters, 39, faces one count of larceny of government property and two counts of disturbance. Walters said she was overcharged for the soda and dumped it rather than pay.

It is good to see the government cracking down on these wanton lawbreakers in our midst. They cannot locate the terrorists or the illegal aliens, so it appears they have shifted resources to the drink counters of America.

First they started checking our email, then started listening to our phone calls, and now it has digressed to our electric meters  The Delaware Public Service Commission approved a Delmarva Power plan to install “smart meters” to reduce customers energy use.  The approval means the meters will be installed possibly as early as next fall, for more than 300,000 gas and electric customers.  The meters allow for two-way communication between the utility and its customers and of course, “track” energy use.

If this isn’t Big Brother, I don’t know what is.

Poo-Poo occurs, it seems the poo-poo has hit the whirly-dirly in Reno – The city cracked down on recreational vehicles that park overnight in casino parking lots, prompting some RVers to say they’ll boycott Reno. City officials said an ordinance on the books since 1996 outlaws RV camping anywhere except designated parks with water and sewage hookups. The concerns are health-related, a city official said.

What is happening here is Californian’s heading north to the gambling joints and losing their money are dumping their black water (raw sewage or human waste) in the parking lots of the casino’s before they head home. Nasty huh.

Good gosh!  Just give me the ticket.

Mount Juliet Tennessee – A city police officer who used a choking maneuver on a man he suspected of hiding marijuana in his mouth has been fired. The city manager of this Nashville suburb terminated Cpl. William Cosby, who was charged earlier with aggravated assault and perjury. Video from a police car showed Cosby choking James Lawrence Anders Jr. during an April traffic stop until Anders passed out.

Who needs cops when you have bears? Panguitch, Utah. One Utah community is cheering a special bear but don’t call him Smokey. Investigators say a large black bear raided a clandestine marijuana growing operation so often that it chased the grower away. “This bear is definitely law-enforcement minded,” said Garfield County Sheriff Danny Perkins. “If I can find this bear I’m going to deputize him.”

Deputies found food containers ripped apart and strewn everywhere, cans with bear teeth marks, claw marks and bear prints across the Garfield County camp on Tuesday. Perkins said the operation on Boulder Mountain included 4,000 “starter” sacks of pot and 888 young plants. “This particular bear apparently was not going to give up and basically chased these marijuana farmers away,” Perkins said. “Our county is so tough on drugs that even the wildlife are getting in on the action.”

Deadly truck crash leaves $182K in nickels on I-95. One trucker died and two others were injured in a pre-dawn crash that left $182,000 worth of nickels on Interstate 95 near Orlando, Florida. State troopers and federal agents “are securing the scene, while local members of the Treasury are en route,” according to Florida Today. “The Treasury employees will pick up all the nickels.”

By our calculations, the U.S. Mint will have to pick up 3.64 million coins.  A state police spokesman warns that anyone who might stop to collect nickels … even ONE nickel … would face federal charges since the nickels belong to the Treasury Department.  And of course, “anyone with a soft drink in their hand, will automatically be considered “suspicious” for sure.”

And finally … Delhi,Ill..

Here’s a tip: Bar tending nude can get you arrested. Sheriff’s deputies doing a routine check this week at a southern Illinois bar say they discovered a not-so-routine sight. Authorities allege that 33-year-old Janet Brannon was naked while serving bar patrons at the Cabin Tavern in Delhi. Brannon was arrested and charged with misdemeanor public indecency. She was freed on $8,000 bond.

I would like to personally pay this lady’s fine, all we have in Oklahoma is Hooter Girls and 3.2 beer.

It just has to be Monday ……..

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