A wealthy Manhattan mother posted a Craiglist ad for a nanny that began, “My kids are a pain in the a**,” and went onto describe in 1,000 words, why the job would make most people miserable. Fifteen people applied, and a 25-year old woman accepted the job without ever meeting the children.
I am staying put! 36 year old Hattie Callan of New Orleans decided to be among the few residents who stayed in town to ride out Hurricane Gustav. “I have liquor, cash, food, ammo and weed” Callan explained.
Who needs reality.
Callan, that is Irish isn’t it? Here is an Irish joke for ya ….Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, ‘Top O’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?’
She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’ The Father asked, ‘And be there any wee little ones yet?’ She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’ The Father said, ‘Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.’
She replied, ‘Oh, thank ye, Father.’ They then parted ways.
Some years later they meet again. The Father asked, ‘Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?’ She replied, ‘Oh, very well, Father!’ The Father asked, ‘And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?’ She replied, ‘Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and four singles, ten in all!’
The Father said, ‘That’s wonderful! How is yer lovin’ hoosband doin’?’ She replied, ‘E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer dam’ candle.’
No good huh … Well, whadya expect for free?
Deep Poo-poo. A man in Tampa Florida who locked himself into a construction site’s portable toilet while allegedly fleeing the scene of a crime. Two angry burglary victims tipped over the potty, and when police arrived, the found the man covered in its contents.
No! I don’t have any recent photo’s of America’s favorite new political neophyte who one day might find herself the new leader of the Free Western World. And I am not selling photo’s of Sarah Palin in the bikini with the automatic weapon … Try U-Tube. (Please feel free to use the private Email feature for more details)
Must be tough file.
Sean “Diddy” Combs the music mogul announced on YouTube that he is grounding his private jet, which was costing him something in the neighborhood of $200,000 per trip for aviation fuel and is now flying commercial. (Wait until he hears what they are charging for the peanuts!)
The word most often uttered by speakers during the Democratic Convention in Denver was “change.” It was used an average of 89 times per day, followed by “McCain” which came in at 78. Energy followed at 49. In 2004 the most common used words were “healthcare” (49), “Jobs” (42) and the word change was only invoked 11 times.
The most popular word in the Bush administration used about “one-thousand-million-billion times” was “Evil Doers” which had the Scotch-Whiskey Distillery people really nervous for a long time.
Parting Shot: “A man is not a man, unless he can find his way to Sears’ blind-folded and the tool department makes his nipples rock hard.” (Tim Allen, Tool Time)