THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “Love is never having to say you’re sorry …. If you know what is good for you.”
Guess I will devote some serious effort today after this, to locating something suitable for our anniversary, which has snuck up on me and caught me off guard but once again. It is hard to believe but it is that time of year, and that special wonderful day is just around the corner.
Casually I mentioned this anniversary thing to my neighbor yesterday and he said, “How long have you two been married?” and I shook my head and replied, “Every day … Every day, man. And each and every day with her is special and a wonderful day, and another wonderful day is right around the corner.”
He just smiled. He knows … He is married too.
August 25th, it is time to acknowledge my profound devotion and love with some kind of visual tangible something if I know what is good for me … Which of course is …. Men talk. I believe that I am still in the dog house over last years gift. I asked her what she wanted, she told me “something white, with chrome, and it goes from zero to 125 in 3 seconds” which was easy, I bought her a bathroom scale, but that dog didn’t hunt at all.
Another year I told her, “My gift to you is me!” which too, did not fly, not for a New York minute.
We got married in the summer and now it is the time for the annual appreciation moment. Time has caught up with me again, like smoke thru a key hole, it is now that time but once again. I haven’t got a inkling as to what to get her, maybe I will get a plasma TV and claim “it’s for us.” Might try that one this year. Yeah, that would be an ephemeral moment for sure.
As it is with most men, I am clueless, I don’t have a snowball’s chance, might do better to just wrap a rubber band around a HUGE wad of MONEY and just give it to her.
It is after all … her favorite color …. Green.
Gift giving can be stressful and dangerous. Which reminds me of the time I decided that an appropriate anniversary gift for Cup Cake would be the “George Foreman Grill” which she gave back to me in a sort of forceful upward motion as I remember it.
Are you listening men? There is going to be a test later, count on it, you had best be ready!
Neglect this holiday and you can bet on parting before death. You can wrestle with it all you want, move back and forth, look down at the floor and mutter pitifully … “Uh Honey, I just forgot. I really did.” But that will not work, you can put up the best front you can muster in the real world, spin it any way you can, but it is to no avail.
Your wife is in tune with the universe, she will see thru that faster than Superman sees through Lois Lane‘s pantsuits.
The unwritten rule is … If you forget … There is no ultimate reprieve. When you neglect to acknowledge the person who vowed to love you for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?
Big mistake. Anniversaries are a time to recognize the strength of your marriage, not test the weaknesses. I remember I asked her one time, “Hon, don’t ever let me get so senile and crazy you have to put me in a nursing home, okay?” She looked at me with that lil crooked smile and said, “Don’t worry … I will shoot you long before that!”
As I didn’t do too well on Mothers Day, I now have a chance to attune for my past sins, and exercise a new fresh approach to Matrimonial Harmony.
I now have, once again, a shot at it. Now that I have sufficiently raised my total word count for the month of August, I am outta here, I have some shoppin’ to do ……
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