Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

August 13, 2008

Monkey Biz …

See No Evil Speak No Evil Hear No Evil

See No Evil Speak No Evil Hear No Evil

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “There is not one single solitary shred of evidence that supports the notion that life is serious.”

Who wrote this stupid whacked out commercial that is currently running … “This is the generation that claimed it would never get old, and is now in the summertime of their blah-blah-blah?”

I am that generation and we never said any such thing. Every time they play that moronic nonsense I just want to pull my hair out!

JC Penny has taken a great movie, “The Breakfast Club”” (possibly a classic) and ripped it into some kind of cornball shumuckie commercial for back to school. Someone needs to send Penny’s a reality check.

California ― A Stockton security guard was able to lead police to his stolen car, three years after it was taken from him. It wasn’t terribly difficult: The car was driven right to him. “I had it for 12 years before they stole it, so it’s like a baby with a scar,” said Rakesh Singh. “I was like, ‘That’s mine.’”

(I mean, how Valley Girl is that Rakesh?)

Rakesh spotted his own stolen Mustang 5.0 while on his shift as a security guard in a Stockton parking lot, three years and five months after it vanished from his home. (Yeah, I know, but wait, it gets even better.) “I knew it was my car. The little curb bump, it leans the same way, the mud flaps are the same,” he said. He let the person driving it go into a restaurant, and then called police. They arrived quickly and set up a sting.

“We hid in the back,” Rakesh said. “It was so cool.”

Police arrested Alan Hernandez for allegedly stealing the Mustang, and then gave the car back to its rightful owner. The locks are broken, and the steering wheel needs to be replaced, but Singh is just happy to see it again. Please note the last name; I am pretty sure he didn’t have insurance either, well anyway that is how I am betting my money.

More than likely “just another good citizen of Mexico that came up here to improve his life and work for a living.”

MarylandBaltimore, has launched a citywide effort to educate the public on the dangers of high salt intake, which is associated with high blood pressure, particularly among African-Americans. In a city that is nearly 65 percent black, the risks of hypertension, which can lead to heart attack, kidney failure and stroke, are especially high.

That is always nice, when a city recognizes that all the other inner city problems are fixed and moves onto health issues.

Palo Alto California:  BIGFOOT BODY FOUND – EVIDENCE AND DNA DETAILS TO BE PRESENTED AT A PRESS CONFERENCE ON FRIDAY, AUGUST 15th.

You ever notice how much of the really weird and bizarre stuff comes out of California?  A body that may very well be the body of the creature commonly known as “Bigfoot” has been found in the woods in northern Georgia. Here are some of the vital statistics on the “Bigfoot” body:

The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.  It weighs over five hundred pounds. The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.  It is male.  (It is believed to have once been a Republican) The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.) I am fairly sure this is NOT bigfoot, but it kind of sounds a lot like my ex-wife, no wait, she moved to Florida in 78 ……..

Here’s your sign.

One more and then I am outta here.

This one too, from California, “it must really be a trip living in Caly-fornyuh dudes.” After Jonathan the orangutan escaped from his enclosure numerous times, the Los Angeles Zoo designed a state-of-the-art escape-proof outdoor habitat. They were so sure it would hold Jonathan, they arranged for local officials and reporters to witness his entering his new home for the first time ever.

The crowd watched in disbelief as the ape went straight to a tree, uprooted it, leaned it against a wall, and then climbed out.

Guess you need to be smarter than the monkey, if you want to keep him home*.

Remember, you read it here first.

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* No animals, either real or imagined, Democratic or Republican, were harmed during the writing of this piece. My name is ……. And I approved of this message.

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