Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
When a woman wears a leather dress, A man’s heart beats quicker, And his throat gets dry, He goes weak in the knees, And he begins to think irrationally. Ever wonder why?
Because she smells like a new truck
Watched a new movie this weekend, “The Bucket List.” Pretty good. Do YOU have a bucket list? There’s something about having one that makes me feel like I can actually DO them all before I die. And it reminds me of all the fun goals that exist outside of work and family. Sky diving off the Grand Canyon, here I come!
Then there are the doom-Naysayers who say, what a waste of paper. Nothing says ‘don’t forget about DEATH’ quite like a bucket list. Why remind yourself of all the things you surely WON’T be able to do before your time comes? Better to live each day the best you can than set lofty life goals.
9 out of 10 people do not believe Steve Fossett is dead, but believe he faked his own death.
A clumsy criminal has left his driver’s license on the counter of the Townsville video store he robbed of cash and cigarettes. Police said the man was pretending to purchase DVDs at the Civic Video when he jumped the counter and grabbed cash and cigarettes before fleeing. Police said he dropped his driver’s license and “other identifying material. Not the brightest criminal we’ve come across,” one policeman said.
Last heard … He was still to be found.
WASHINGTON BUDDY FILE – Cellphone calls on airplanes in flight are unsafe and obnoxious and should be banned permanently, according to some members of Congress. House members, most of whom board airplanes almost every week, traded horror stories July 31 about their worst experiences with annoying fellow passengers who talk loudly on cellphones before takeoff and after landing. One lawmaker said his wife sat next to a woman who loudly discussed her sex life on the phone.
(Reach Out! Reach out and touch somebody!)
Another House member topped that with the passenger sitting him behind on one flight who got a “dear John” phone call from either his wife or sweetheart just before takeoff. The begging and pleading was just terrible to listen to, he said. Finally, with the plane ready to take off, a flight attendant had to threaten to have U.S. marshals drag the man off the plane before he finally put his phone away.
I got one of those when I was in the service, but it wasn’t a phone call. It was a letter. It read: “Dear Don, I am so sorry I missed the boat, I met a man with some righteous plans, and Jack that is all she wrote.” About broke my little old 19 year old heart it did.
“I do believe this is important that we don’t make what is already a crowded and difficult environment for the traveling public and flight attendants worse by allowing cellphone use in-flight,” said Rep. Peter DeFazio, D-Ore., sponsor of the Halting Airplane Noise to Give Us Peace (HANG UP) Act. Don’t you just love all these cute, little anachronisms, beats working I guess.
But Rep. John Mica, R-Fla., said there are a lot of annoying things on airplanes, including children with dirty diapers and noisy MP3 players, but that doesn’t mean they should be banned.
You are trying to legislate courtesy, folks, and that just doesn’t work.
I Got You Babe! A man who blasted Cher and U2 from his home has had his stereo equipment and music collection destroyed. He was warned to turn down his music after complaints were made. He was served with a noise abatement notice, which he later admitted ignoring.
As a result, his two tape and record decks, his radio and his tapes and CDs were seized by the police. Environmental health officers were alerted to the unacceptable volume levels at Wiosna’s property after complaints from a local resident. Just something about the month of August that seems to bring the worst out in people.
I am tired of summertime, bring on the short days and turn off the heat … August sucks.
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