THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “Writing your own blog on a daily basis, is something like being married to a Nymphomaniac. It is great for the two first weeks.”
After this week of dealing with the Cable Company and some other folks who came at me like a pitbull fresh off a can of Red-Dog, I have also decided that it might be an appropriate time for me to start up another new venture.
A toy company.
Now I know this sounds a tab bit ludicrous, but hear me out. After jumping thru the hoops of the telephone company, the City of Oklahoma City, Cox Cable and MasterCard, VISA, General Motors, some of these AOL type Internet providers I have come to the conclusion that I wasn’t raised right. At numerous junctures in the dusty road of life, I sadly have to report that my coping skills were somewhat lacking.
I have had trouble with this for years, In layman’s terms I believe it is called “dealing with issues.” I have never been known to be the #1 team leader on the Cheering Squad. Time for a solution … Educational Toys!
We will develop a new electronic toy and we will enter into a joint venture partnership in the toy business. We will develop a toy that is wrapped in at least nine layers of cellulite material and plastic, which will take at the very minimum ten to twelve minutes just to unwrap and remove from the box.
Opening up this new toy of the future will be a chore. This will require enormous amounts of patience, and at the very least, a set of good teeth. (Tons of shrink wrap and plastic .. It is after all, The American Way).
This totally new toy of the future will contain instructions in every language in the world EXCEPT English, and if you follow the detailed instructions to the very “T” it will NOT assemble the toy in any way shape or fashion.
All of the incomprehensible instructions will of course, be wrong. Dead wrong. We will also provide you with a 1-800 voice mail number mailbox that will never, ever, be manned with a human being.
This will in turn teach the child the ways of the world and thus, prepare him/her for the future.
No matter how hard it is that they try to assemble this toy it will not go together and when they ask for instructions or try to find them, they will be just as elusive as the rest of it. I figure after numerous attempts and finally finishing the assembly process, they will be well adjusted, fit right in citizens, in a little under 16 years.
Should be bigger than Elmo if I am right about this.
000
