Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

August 2, 2008

Heatin Up … Tax Free.

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 5:37 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Been an interesting week. I have experienced only two emotions and they were: “Joy and Indigestion.” Once again, my world is void of God’s and Hero’s, and in its place, I have one’s and zero’s. Such is bloggin.

Lot of flack this week about McSame’s commercials about the “Hollywood Elitist” attitude toward Obammer and all that. What a bunch of garbage. I mean who gives a rat’s patooie what Madonna, Cher, Brad Pitt or any of those Hollywood types have to say about anything. They are actors; some of them are hardly that, what they are not … are political experts on anything.

Why should the media care about what is most of the time, clearly an out of context celebrity comment. Why should this be considered news in the first place? Think about it. Acting is the most minor of all the gifts on the planet, Shirley Temple could do it when she was only four.

Personally I don’t really care if David Hasselhoff supports this candidate or the other. These people are actors, last I heard, so what is the big stink about. They have already run this presidential race into the ground anyway.

2nd of August, time for the annual local media blitz on “How Hot It Is!”

Every year at this time, the media in Oklahoma seems to concentrate on “how hot it is” and have you perhaps noticed. This is the time of the year when they send the junior reporter out to try and fry an egg on the sidewalk. Every year, as it has for possibly millions of years, summer arrives and it gets hot. Then our local media goes collectively insane, and each one picks up on it, and the first thing you know, the hottest topic in town, is how hot it is …… Outside.

This is the time of the year when I eagerly anticipate the arrival of cicadas (Katy Dids) and watch for dragon flies heading south, this tells me the suffering is almost over and it is going to cool off. But for now, the heat continues and the reporters drone on and on ………

This to be followed by the annual OU Football has their first practice session … Which player has broken his/her parole and is no longer on the squad or has lost their eligibility. Always something going down here in Oklahoma. Some go to college to get an education, unfortunately here, some of them take biology for two years in a row, just to eat the specimens and play football.

They ought to have a class in college to prepare you for the real world.

They should have a class, Humanity 101. How to stand in the express line at China Mart with MORE than 20 items. How to talk on the cellphone at the Post Office. Going comatose at the DMV. Why it is much easier in life to “highlight everything with black magic marker.” How jury duty could possibly turn your brain to oatmeal.

So even tho’ it is hot, there is an upside.

Kids are headed back to school, this is one benefit of August, school starts early in Oklahoma and the kids get back to school. Which brings with it excitement, and anxiety to a few, but most importantly, unfettered joy and relief to parents. You get to get rid of the little darlings for a few hours a day, and if you have one that is college bound, prepared for it or not, they head out this time of the year.

Parents benefit too.

They can no longer sit around and complain about being bored. Now they get to sign up for carpools, childcare, label new clothing and supplies, and try their best to get a kid to go to bed when the sun is still up, in order to be rested for school the next day.

The old school bell is about to ring, so it is once again time, to study hard, learn, textbooks, essays, and exams for a few years or flippin’ burgers for the next fifty … Choice is up to you. I heard of a guy who sent his kid to the OU Law School and after he graduated, he sued his parents for wasting seven years of his life.

So much for higher education huh?

Oklahoma also has at this time of the year, “tax free day” where school supplies and back to school items are tax free. This is where they do their level best to get Joe Taxpayer suckered into believing he is getting something for nothing. But as with all government gambits, there is also a catch 22.

You get it tax free if it is “one hundred dollars or less” so underwear, pencils, paper, cheap stuff is tax free. Big ticket items like computers, high dollar clothes, designer tennis shoes that cost as much as a good used car, you have to pay a tax on that. Sorry Charlie.

Aren’t y’all proud of me, I didn’t say one dog-gone thing about oil, gasoline, Bush, Cheney, Iraq, Iran, Condoghleezah, global warming, the economy, illegal wars, polar bears, Viagra, boobies, ED (Electoral Dysfunction), or mid life depression. The medicine might be working after all.

See ya on Monday.

000


New Horizons …

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 5:29 am
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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “Writing your own blog on a daily basis, is something like being married to a Nymphomaniac.  It is great for the two first weeks.”

After this week of dealing with the Cable Company and some other folks who came at me like a pitbull fresh off a can of Red-Dog, I have also decided that it might be an appropriate time for me to start up another new venture.

A toy company.

Now I know this sounds a tab bit ludicrous, but hear me out. After jumping thru the hoops of the telephone company, the City of Oklahoma City, Cox Cable and MasterCard, VISA, General Motors, some of these AOL type Internet providers I have come to the conclusion that I wasn’t raised right.  At numerous junctures in the dusty road of life, I sadly have to report that my coping skills were somewhat lacking.

I have had trouble with this for years, In layman’s terms I believe it is called “dealing with issues.” I have never been known to be the #1 team leader on the Cheering Squad. Time for a solution … Educational Toys!

We will develop a new electronic toy and we will enter into a joint venture partnership in the toy business.  We will develop a toy that is wrapped in at least nine layers of cellulite material and plastic, which will take at the very minimum ten to twelve minutes just to unwrap and remove from the box.

Opening up this new toy of the future will be a chore.  This will require enormous amounts of patience, and at the very least, a set of good teeth. (Tons of shrink wrap and plastic .. It is after all, The American Way).

This totally new toy of the future will contain instructions in every language in the world EXCEPT English, and if you follow the detailed instructions to the very “T” it will NOT assemble the toy in any way shape or fashion.

All of the incomprehensible instructions will of course, be wrong. Dead wrong.  We will also provide you with a 1-800 voice mail number mailbox that will never, ever, be manned with a human being.

This will in turn teach the child the ways of the world and thus, prepare him/her for the future.

No matter how hard it is that they try to assemble this toy it will not go together and when they ask for instructions or try to find them, they will be just as elusive as the rest of it.  I figure after numerous attempts and finally finishing the assembly process, they will be well adjusted, fit right in citizens, in a little under 16 years.

Should be bigger than Elmo if I am right about this.

000

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