Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

July 31, 2008

How To Tell If You Are In Colorado …

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 11:32 pm

You’re from Colorado if you will eat ice cream in the winter. When the weather report says it’s going to be 65 degrees, you shave your legs and wear a skirt. It snows 5 inches and you don’t expect school to be canceled. If you are the third person to go thru the lite, after it turns red, you are most likely in Denver.

You’ll wear flip flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature. You have no accent at all, but can hear other people’s. And then you make fun of them. ‘Humid’ is over 25%. Your sense of direction is: Toward the mountains and Away from the mountains.

You say ‘the interstate’ and everybody knows which one. You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard. You buy your flowers to set out on Mother’s day, but try and hold off planting them until just before Father’s day. You grew up planning your Halloween costumes around your coat.

You know what the Continental Divide is. You don’t think Coors beer is that big a deal. You went to Casa Bonita as a kid, and as an adult. You’ve gone off-roading in a vehicle that was never intended for such activities. You always know the elevation of where you are. You wake up to a beautiful, 80 degree day and you wonder if it’s going to snow tomorrow.

Every movie theater has military and student discounts. Everybody wears jeans to church. You actually know that South Park is a real place not just a show on TV. You know what a ‘trust fund hippy’ is, and you know its natural habitat is Boulder

A bear on your front porch doesn’t bother you. Your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whoever is beating the crap out of the Raiders. When people out East tell you they have mountains in their state too, you just laugh. You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels ‘sticky’ and you notice the sky is no longer blue.

And my absolute favorite:

98% OF AMERICANS SCREAM BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD. THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM COLORADO AND THEY SAY, ‘HOLD MY SODA AND WATCH THIS.

More?

D.W.I. Colorado

DWI Colorado (audio)

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 11:21 pm

(Parody of Rocky Mountain High by John Denver)

I’d been sippin’ on some vino
From a pretty decent year
Zippin’ home in my classic Porsche 914
I saw flashin’ lights behind me
Heard a siren in the wind
And I wondered what the ossifer pulled me over for

When I first rolled down the window
He stuck a flashlight in my eyes
So I smiled and I asked him what was wrong
He said your left taillight is broken
You missed a stop sign way back there
You’re going way too fast
And your breath smells pretty strong

In the Colorado Rocky Mountains high
I’m weavin’ left to right and side-to-side
Now I’m trying hard to touch my nose
But I always stab my eye

DWI Colorado
DWI Colorado
DWI Colorado

“Uh, step out of the car. You’re doomed, ‘Mr. Sunshine On My Shoulders’. You’re drivin’ on the shoulder.”
DWI
Colorado
DWI Colorado

Thanks to KZOK FM 102.5


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Packin It In …

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent,Uncategorized,writing — ldsrr91 @ 5:39 pm
Tags: , ,

One of my favorite haunts has gone out of business. It appears that Mike over at Okiedoke has packed it in. He first said that he was going to take a week to chill out, relax a little, and that quickly went to three weeks. Today I find that his site is virtually closed down, and the comment feature disabled, another good read has gone the way of other things. Mike it seems, is no longer a member of the virtual community and I for one, will miss him.

I wonder if he burned out, or found the lack of communication in this social networking community somewhat lacking? There are times, if you are bloggin that you feel a definite lack of human interaction and sometimes the conversation becomes a little bit downgrading. For the most part “social networking” isn’t all that it is cracked up to be on any given day.

Perhaps Mike just wanted to be alone, to hide from all his “electronic” friends. Maybe he wanted to just slink back into the “real world.” It could be that he was for most intents and purposes just getting wound a little too tight. Most of us know when it is time to stop, take a moment to step back and take a good hard look at it. Sitting down and punching out 55-60 of these per month, is often a daunting task, this month it was 57, and almost 40,000 words. Most do not attempt this, nor do they have the ability, Mike was proficient and he did put out good posts, I for one, will miss his daily read.

It is as they say … It all flows downhill. My daddy used to refer to it as “rolling with the punches.”

You cannot squeeze water, it will not allow it. Water eludes you, if you relax your hands into it, you experience it readily. If it stands still, it becomes stagnant, just like us, we stay sedimentary, we waste away. If it is allowed to flow, it will stay pure. Water goes with the flow, it does not seek the highest point to be above it all, but settles for the lowest places. It gathers into rivers, lakes, and streams; courses to the sea and then evaporates to fall again as rain.

Water maps out nothing and it plays no favorites. It doesn’t really intend to provide sustenance to the animals and plants. It has no plans to irrigate the fields; to slake our thirst; or to provide the opportunity to swim, sail, ski, and scuba dive. It just does what it does and it becomes what it is … Which in turn, a lot of the time, benefits the rest of us.

When I get ready to pack it all in, explode and let ‘er rip, I take a deep breath, and try my best to chill out. I tell myself it is time for this old —- to mellow out. I need to let or allow, my thoughts and behaviors to move smoothly in accordance with nature, to learn how to go with the flow, the natural progression of things. If necessary …. Change my habits and my location. I need to find me a harmonious spot and campout for a short while. Perhaps this is the very same Mike is talking about when he says I am closing up shop.

There is deep inside me, a gentle side, it isn’t seen much anymore, but I KNOW it can be revived and it is there, lying dormant just below the surface. It is a natural thing to be gentle, to allow others to be free to go where they are inclined to want to go; and to be as they need to be, without interference from me.

I just need to learn how to tune into my inner inclinations, and stick to my word. Treat everyone as equals, give an inch every now and then, I don’t always have to be first into the intersection, I don’t have to win every battle. One thing I have learned, and that is how to stop practicing this idea of fighting with life, and instead, learn how to embrace it. Like our Old Buddy Frazier Crane used to say on Cheer’s … Find your happy place and get in it.

  • A hot bath, if I need one
  • A place to soak in the tub and relax.
  • Medicine, and the ability to pay for it.
  • Time, which I can use, to meditate and work it all out.
  • Goin’ with the flow .. Contemplating the better things in life, learning how to crank it down.

From time to time, I take this old Email that I have that a friend sent to me, pull it out and I read it. Listen to a little Glenn Miller and collect what I have left of my thoughts. Try to walk a mile in another man’s shoes.

Works for me.

My Confession

000

Check is in the mail …

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent,writing — ldsrr91 @ 6:36 am
Tags: , , ,

A Briton accused of hacking into top secret military computers has lost a Law Lords appeal against being extradited to stand trial in the US. Glasgow-born Gary McKinnon could face life in jail if convicted of accessing 97 US military and Nasa computers. He hacked into all of these military computers “searching for evidence of UFO’s” being withheld from the general public by the U.S. Government. If there is life in the Universe, I sure hope it is smarter than what we have here.

I guess it had to happen. Tansgender Bathrooms.

This morning I found a web story about a school in Asia that is now supplying “Transgender Bathrooms” for students. Between the girls’ toilet and the boys’ there is one signposted with a half-man, half-woman figure in blue and red. This is the transsexual toilet, and outside, in front of the mirrors, some decidedly girly-looking teenage boys preen their hair and apply face cream.

So, when the do the dirty deed … Do they stand up or sit down? I Never get all the facts, who, what, where, when and why, first thing they teach you in journalism 101.

The headteacher, (their words not mine, I swear!) Sitisak Sumontha, estimates that in any year between 10% and 20% of his boys consider themselves to be transgender – boys who would rather be girls. “They used to be teased every time they used the boys’ toilets,” he said, “so they started using the girls’ toilets instead. But that made the girls feel uncomfortable. It made these boys unhappy, and started to affect their work.”

I must be weird, all I ever wanted to be was a fireman.

Girls=Boys in Math. Researchers for the National Science Foundation have found that boys and girls now perform equally in standardized math tests. New findings indicate that girls are just as smart as boys when it comes to the subject of math. Which should come as no big surprise to a guy who’s idea of higher education was standing on the top of the Frat House, dressed in a toga and yelling …. “Bring me the virgins to wax my loins!”

More math, just what I need.

Oil prices have dropped to about $125 a barrel this week after reaching a peak of $147.27 earlier this month. Meanwhile, gas prices are still hovering around the $4 mark down just a few cents from an all-time record average of $4.11 two weeks ago.

Why does it seem like gas prices go up faster than they come down?  Because they do. Analyses of gasoline economics show that when the price of oil rises, it takes up to four weeks for gas station prices to catch up, with most of the increase taking place within the first two weeks.

But when oil prices sink, it takes up to eight weeks for the savings to be passed along to consumers. The phenomenon is known as “asymmetric price adjustment” or, more informally down in Crawford, Texas, as the, “rockets and feathers principle.”

Think about it … It will come to you.

Supporters of the 2005 Bankruptcy Act said that by punishing “deadbeats” the law would reduce consumers’ borrowing costs. (Curiously that is the statement credit card companies use to describe people who pay their balances on time, deadbeats. They would prefer to have revolving balances, and those are called, revolvers) It has seemingly backfired on them, since this bills’ passage, credit card borrowing costs have risen by as much as 17%. But this is a bankers’ bill, and we all know about bankers.

They are the only people who can understand the principle of ONE TELLER and ELEVEN WINDOWS.

This week a man in Texas complained because the credit card folks charged him a $39 charge for paying his bill two days late, and that they jacked him up 3.5 times on the interest. He said that “they didn’t send him a bill and that is why he was late.” Uh huh, sure. I believe it was Ben Franklin that said, “Those who lend money have a better memory than those who are prone to borrow it.”

Merrill Lynch knows a bit about red ink as well. A mere 10 days after declaring a $4.65 billion second-quarter loss, the investment bank announced another $5.8 billion write down and the need to issue $8.5 billion in new common stock, which will substantially dilute the value of current stock. As the Financial Times disturbingly puts it: “The latest Merrill write-downs raises new questions about whether banks themselves understand the extent of their problems.”

Perhaps Mr. Bush forgot to send them a notice that the economy was in the dumper?

Yeah, that’s it.

000

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