Portland police are not above the parking laws, even if they’re hungry. Officer Chadd Stensgaard, who parked his patrol car illegally while making a dinner-break stop at a Japanese restaurant, must pay a $35 fine, Traffic Court Judge Terry Hannon ruled Wednesday.
The infraction came to light thanks to Eric Bryant, who was at the restaurant with friends when Stensgaard parked in a curbside no-parking zone. Bryant, an attorney, filed a citizen complaint against the officer in March.
Bad cop – No donut.
Three men were arrested outside of Reno, Nevada for spray painting rocks and defacing federal property, trees and trail markers this week. The damage was estimated at around $1,000 and the names of the accused were as follows: Alfredo Perez, Efrain Beccerra, and Gabriel Amaya, more than likely some of those “good folks who only come north to work and a better life.” Buy ‘em a can of spay paint so that they can write their lawyer in Mexico City a letter.
We have some new headlines for The Bad News Gazette.
Attempts to renew Little League activities fail once again due to the complete ban of all competitiveness for children. Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4,532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Silicon Valley janitors approve new contract promising $156.76/hr starting salary. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Cloned cockroaches presenting significant pest problem. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Al Gore loses big toe from frostbite in the Artic filming a documentary on the last iceberg.
Barry Bonds lobbies Major League Baseball for entry into the Hall of Fame; says even though his hat size is now up to 22 is not proof he ever took steroids. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. Oklahoma City hopes to have a name for its looted basketball team by the end of the year. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030. Major air carriers across the U.S. annouce a $14 fee for just “inquiring about a possible flight to anywhere.”
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. Some American’s have still not received their stimulus check. It is now legal in Vermont to burn your furniture during the winter months in order to stay warm. Temperatures set a new record in downtown Los Angeles, 126* and rising. Glacier National Park is renamed Big Rocky National Park (no more glaciers).
Las Vegas puts online a second sewage treatment plant and the bad news is now there are ample supplies of treated sewage water … The good news is, there doesn’t seem to be enough to go around. Utah voters set to approve smoking only in privately owned bathrooms in homes. While the ban on all smoking by non-residents remains the Law of the Land. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton unite over proposal to ban the word “ask” and replace it with “axe” in all U.S. Schools.
The novel To Kill a Mockingbird is banned from schools as it promotes a depiction of a hate crime and actually encourages racism. Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines and hanging chads. American Idol losers go on USA tour and sing Old Beatles tunes, the ghost of John Lennon appears in New York City asks a cab driver to “please just shoot me again.”
Creative Endeavors writes a post on Coffee and WordPress.Com actually puts it in the category that it was linked to entitled … believe it or not … “Coffee.”
Have to go, almost time to catch the bus downtown. With the high price of gasoline, I am doing my best to find a suitable mode of alternative transportation, which believe me, is not easy in Oklahoma. I have to walk two blocks north of here to catch the bus. There is a bench which is usually occuppied by some old geezers just like me, headed downtown.
Often the conversation is stimulating and quite interesting.
First Okie: “Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?” The second Okie ponders on the subject a little, then turns and says …. “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?”
All that … And the fare is only a buck.
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