Man, this bloggin’ stuff can really go to your head, can’t it? I was out at the Mall this weekend and I heard ….. “Hey Look! There’s Don Smith!” and all these people turned around and stared at me … I am never, ever going to yell that out again, that was embarrassing.
Kanab, Utah has come to their senses and are now going to allow Bikini’s at the Local Watering Hole and that is great. Speedo’s are not however allowed (No banana slings in Mormon Country sorry) and you can read all about it here: Bikini ban
Some of the finest people in the world live on my street; I have some of the best neighbor’s anyone could ask for. Most of them are just great, one is a crotchety old **** but we won’t dwell on that (I just absolutely hate talking about myself). We often have in the cool of the evening, tail-gate get togethers in the front yard, sit on the end-gate of an old truck and shoot the bull.
The other day on Father’s Day, I asked my friend and neighbor, “Why was it you and your wife, waited so long to have kids?”
He said … “One of the reasons I waited so long is because, when you go to Catholic high school, they pound into your head not to get anybody pregnant. Otherwise you’ll be stuck with them the rest of your life, and it’s against God’s will, and all that. So when I finally got my wife pregnant, I was almost embarrassed and ashamed, you know. I had to tell my parents, I’m sorry, but I got somebody pregnant.”
Which is, if you are in your right mind, absolutely ridiculous. Today I found this: Cheap Mexican Gasoline, you make the call.
Lot of folks talking about moving downtown, escalating gas prices are driving people to move closer to work, all of a sudden, living close to the boss is a viable uncomfortable option. Personally, I wouldn’t trade the clear stars for downtown street lights for anything. I don’t care what the price of fuel is.
We’ve got piece of mind. We’ve got safety out in my neck of the woods. And you’ve purchased a property on the outskirts of town in the country; you have got the wonderful smell of that dairy air.
Middle of the Week …. Hammer Down … The Weekend is on the Horizon.
000
Your first couple lines made me laugh so hard I choked on my homemade zinfandel. Damn you.
Luckily I have 27 more bottles downstairs (that my fella made for my birthday.)
Cheers!
klesi.. oops- I mean Kelis.. kelllsie- whatever
Comment by kelsi — June 18, 2008 @ 10:34 PM
Now here is the ironic part of all this, “My wife says that I am NOT funny” all the time. I guess it depends if you have a sense of humor. I will be in here writing and then reading it out loud to see if it “sounds right” and then I will just bust up into hysterical laughter. She then comes in, says, what in the world are you doing? So I read it to her and she says … each time … That’s not funny.
Go figure.
Glad you enjoyed it, I guess that is why this page has become so popular, there is a smattering of good light-hearted fun here, it isn’t ALL DEPRESSING, some of it okay.
Thank you for the kind comments ……..
Comment by Don Smith — June 19, 2008 @ 6:03 AM
Don, Well my artificial intelligence program (H.O.P.E.) sure thinks you’re funny. I try to tell her not to judge all humans by the contents of your posts. Now I think I may have some reprogramming to do. Thanks!
Comment by Brother John — June 19, 2008 @ 6:29 PM
Artificial intelligence or not, you cannot give way for just plain “good taste” it knows what it knows, and that is good for me.
Maybe you could introduce her to my wife, who by the way, believes I am not funny at all. Which is kind of strange, because she told all her friends when we first me, that she loved me because I made her laugh.
Women.
Taking it one step further John, it is not always easy to write something funny and light, and often, what I find funny/humorous, frankly, other people find strange. You have different tastes and mine are not the same, that kind of deal.
There was a kid, convicted of a crime, went to the state prison. On the first day he was there, people in the mess hall were yelling out random numbers and everyone would laugh. So he asked this old time convict, “what is going on?” and the old timer responded, “we have all been in here so long, we have heard every joke there ever was, so we give ‘em all numbers. That way we knows what is going on.”
So the kid said, “give me one. Please give me one.”
So the old timer said “Thirty seven, that is a good one, #37.” So the kid jumped up and yelled out “thirty seven!” and no one, not one solitary person laughed. He sat down and looked at the old man and said, “I thought you said thirty-seven was a good joke.”
The old man said, “Yeah. It is.” Then the kid says, “How come nobody laughed.”
The old timer took a sip of his coffee and said, “Some people can tell a joke and some people cannot.”
DS
DS
Comment by Don Smith — June 20, 2008 @ 5:26 AM
Oh GAWD!
Comment by Brother John — June 20, 2008 @ 8:05 AM
You DO make me laugh!
Comment by Brother John — June 20, 2008 @ 8:07 AM