Man you just got to love the state of California. What a wondrous, amazing place. It is no small wonder that Michael Jackson chose California for his “Never-Never-Land Ranch.” It is like a Granola bar, what aint fruits is nuts. They just passed a resolution in that state that a “dog can no longer be a co-pilot in an automobile.”
Please take a moment now, to sit back and think about this, and just try and imagine how the average tax-payer in California feels about his/her highly paid elected representative when he finds out about this. Not much would be my first guess. Not allowing dogs to be co-pilots? How absurd is that?
Oh well, back to MY reality, Oklahoma.
Not long ago, police found a body, wrapped and bound in chains, hanging from a tree. They said that “they suspected foul play.” Do you think so? These people are out there, and they walk amongst us (some are even procreating, if that don’t give you a shiver up your spine, nothing will).
One other thing, if an Oklahoma Highway Trooper stops you on the Turner Turnpike and asks you, “Do you know why I stopped you?” Don’t under any circumstances reply with: “Uh, I dunno. Don’t have any coffee or do-nuts.” That will cost you $130 … Speed cop Smokey-Bear public safety enforcement officers in Oklahoma apparently don’t seem to have a sense of humor at least not on the turnpike between Tulsa and Stroud.
Moving swiftly along.
My daddy used to say, “Don’t take no knife to a gunfight.” Naw, I believe the exact quote was “You are so stupid, YOU would take a knife to a gunfight.” I always considered this one of those archaic statements that fathers were prone to say. Much like when your mother said to you, “Because I am your mother, that’s why!” Stuff like that.
For years (or at least until I was twelve or thirteen) I always thought it was kind of corny but this week I read about a guy in Montana that did this very thing. He and another guy were “goofing around” when this bozo took out a knife and said he was going to “shave his buddy.”
Evidently his buddy had some kind of terrible fear of being shaved by drunken known acquaintances or something. He pulled out a gun and shot the guy with the knife, effectively ending his rather short barbering career on the spot!
The guy died and now the friend is on trial for negligent homicide.
Viagra, lost fortunes and cheap gas continue to be the top spam attractors in the nation. The latest promises to save you .70 cents per gallon! Of course the “details” on this amazing item, were a tad bit sketchy, so you had to click on the link.
Here is something else: If Bill Gates has all the money in the known free world, how come there isn’t a short-cut key for the “cents” symbol. Just thinking outside the box. I guess it all evens out in the end. Cheap gas, pirated copies of Windows, and lost Nigerian fortunes on the list of things people want, and I don’t have any cents.
Every other car in Oklahoma City has some dummy talking on a cell phone these days. First we had D.U.I (Driving Under the Influence), then D.W.I (Driving While Intoxicated), and now D.W.Y. (Driving While Yakking).
A pilot on a flight from Dallas to Austin recently asked a passenger repeatedly to stop talking on his cellphone. No soap. When the aircraft landed in Austin, the local authorities were waiting for the offending tele-communicator and he was arrested for disorderly conduct.
Surprise, surprise.
Talk about a crappy flight? A passenger on a Dallas to New York flight was asked by the pilot to sit on the seat of a toilet in the aircraft bathroom for three hours. He has filed a $2 million lawsuit against the airline. The pilot asked the man to sit there after a flight attendant complained of an uncomfortable jump-seat. Now here is the rub, “the guy is flying for free on a pass that someone gave him, he is not paying one thin dime for the trip.”
Now he is suing for two-million and some change?
An Okie on an airliner that is going down and crashing, doesn’t know if he is going to heaven or hell. All he knows for sure is …. He is going thru Dallas. A couple of lessons in this:
(1) It no longer pays to fly the Friendly Skies I guess. (2) Rent a car in Dallas and DON’T fly to Austin.
See you in the funny papers ……….
000
