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December 19, 2014

Off The Wagon …

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 6:07 PM
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It is my sad duty to report to you this day, that I fell off the wagon.  Yes, as hard as I tried to relieve myself of this addiction to Coffee, I did not make it.  Just four days, and then I succumbed to the elixir of life, the Caffeine that my body screamed for.  I am an absolute failure, a man of no discipline and this one simple vice.


As I felt I had no other alternative, I rushed over to China-Mart and bought one of those new fangled coffee brewers.  A shiny little miracle of the modern age that will make 12 cups or 1 cup at a time, via this dinky little cartridge plastic thingy (Okie-Technical-Talk).  The initial “test runs” have proven successful, and we have even figured out how to squeeze two runs out of a one-run cartridge thingy …  Looks like it is going to work.

Here is an email that we found in the box this week we would like to share with you.  A woman’s prayer and then a man’s prayer.

First the ladies prayer.

Before I lay me down to sleep … I pray for a man who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong … One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks … One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s rich and self-employed … And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand … Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen … A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other … And relish visits with my mother.

And then there is the male version of the prayer

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big hooters who owns a bar on a golf course,  and loves to send me fishing and drinking … This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t really care … Hand me the remote and then go get me a beer.

The person who provided us with this little ditty requested we keep him/her anon (for obvious reasons)  We sincerely hope that some of this has helped you thru your day, and if you are not locked down rock steady in your relationship with the man of your dreams, we can offer you a solution …  there is always an expert waiting in the wings … to help steer you down the path of life in your journey of commitment. 

When I do discover his exact location, you will be furnished a link to his FaceBook TimeLine.


Luck Of The Draw

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life — ldsrr91 @ 12:02 AM
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imagesA man walks into an office, and there he observes the man he is about to replace, cleaning out his office drawers, and collecting his personal effects.

They try to work their way thru this awkward situation as best as they can. At that time, the other man reaches down into his desk drawer and takes out three envelopes. “Here, you are going to need these.”  He then smiles, and walks out.

About thirty days later, a call comes in from the boss, he tells the new guy, “Be in my office at 12:30 p.m. sharp, and you best not be late.” There is no mistaking his tone and attitude, he is hacked off.

Anxiously the new employee begins to worry, “What can be wrong, what do I do?” about that time he remembers the envelopes, he grabs the one marked #1, rips it open, and on the paper there is a note.

“Blame it on the other guy.”

So he takes the meeting and he does just that, he says, “I am new to the job, the other guy left it all in a mess, and I am just now catching up.” This seems to satisfy the boss.

Another month passes, same deal, “Boss is again upset, he is really hot this time.” Quickly the guy reaches into the desk and pulls the envelope marked #2. It reads, “Blame it on the employee’s, they are lazy, they do not know what to do. Business is bad, the economy is in the dumper.

Once again, a potential crisis has been avoided, this seems to pacify the boss.

Two months later, the phone rings, and yes, it is the boss. He is livid and in no uncertain terms, makes it known and sets the time for the now all too familiar office meet and the trip to the how come chair.

Almost instinctively the manager reaches for envelope #3 and quite desperately rips it open. There he finds written on the paper, “Prepare three envelopes.

Have a good weekend.


December 18, 2014

Jus Sayin 1218

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life — ldsrr91 @ 12:35 AM
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recent-shots-006I am desperately trying to stop drinking coffee and it aint easy

The first cup of coffee in the morning is supposed to be the best
But with old age, that is something that goes away too
The first cup of coffee in the morning now has two scoops of Poop-Fairy-Dust (Laxative) which makes it kind of bitter and unpleasant.

Doesn’t help the withdrawl headaches either.

You ever wonder what your dog is thinking when you follow him around with a pooper-scooper and then promptly reach down while it is still warm
and retrieve his business and put it in a bag.

Do the people who shop at WalMart have mirrors in their homes
Why is it a barrel of oil drops two dollars on the open market
but a gallon of gasoline only nine cents, anyone notice that
NASA is reporting that the planet Mars has methane gas
which cannot be blamed on me,
I live 252 miles due east of Amarillo.

Don’t believe these people that are spreading the rumor that says I molested sheep outside Bozeman Montana in 1978 while on vacation … It’s a lie.
And yes …  I still want my Father’s Day Card.

Speaking of Fathers (Nice blend huh?)  

Do you think that Cliff’s wife on the Cosby Show was a lawyer because of a deep seated emotional stirring that the need for a good attorney in the future might be an imperative in his life.
Isn’t life ironic. 

Does anyone have the contact number for Dr. Phil
the voices in my head are screaming for answers and we don’t have a clue
They want to ask him who has the best cellular service and plan for us
and of course, where they find the seeds to plant seedless watermelons
Dr. Phil is always saying he is a “mandated reporter” so I figure that means
he has to answer my question by law …  (and yes, I know there is no such thing as a “good” attorney).

Jus Sayin

December 17, 2014

Good News …

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:36 PM
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Just got off the phone with the doctor, and he gave me some good news for a change.  He said my recent round of poking and prodding produced nothing of a significant nature and that I am okay.

Which after what I have been thru here lately is definitely a boost for me.

With six visits to the ER in the last two years and the operating room twice, it has taken a toll on the fuel fund, let me tell you.  Now I can sit back and take it in, one day at a time, without so much as a hint of anxiety.

So there is good news and there is bad.

First the good, the prognosis is great for a change, which is a most welcome relief. Now the bad, it appears that I am going to be around a little while longer.

So here is the game plan boys & girls … I plan on increasing my sarcasm by a measure of at least 18% and today I am going to town to celebrate with a BLT.


December 16, 2014

You Have Mail …

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 8:29 PM
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Recently when Sony Corp. was hacked and embarrassing emails were leaked, it occurred to me that this could be the best thing to happen to this generation of conversation-challenged people. If sending a colorful, conversational or nasty email becomes a danger, then perhaps they will all have to start talking again. Me? I am not apologizing for nuthin, why should I start now.

Believe it or not, in Korea they are referred to as “The Tribe That Looks Down” because of their obsession with electronic devices.

Yesterday was National Chocolate Day, a day set aside for you to cover with Chocolate anything your heart desires. Please ladies, if you did take a picture of Harvey in his chocolate covered banana sling from Fredericks Of Hollywood, don’t post any pictures of it on FaceBook.

Turbulent time in the City of Angels … The family calls the police, they state that their brother is out of control and acting crazy. The police show up, the brother then attacks them with a hammer, the police shoot the brother and he dies. Now the family is all up in arms because they wanted the police to help their brother not shoot him.

So let me see, if you are cop and someone comes at you with a hammer, you are supposed to just stand there and take it?

One more, a little bit closer to home and I am outta here.  Norman Oklahoma, “Police this morning discovered a body, wrapped in chains, hanging in a tree.” Foul play is suspected … Gee, do you think so?

Discover Channel interviewing a convict who killed his entire family and set the house on fire … “Why did you do it?” asked the interviewer.  Convict replies, “Well, they was all home.”

Thank God for prisons.

Let me know if you did not get the email.

Jus Sayin 1216

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life — ldsrr91 @ 8:37 AM
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She had that sad look in her eyes,
I could tell she was upset
maybe it was depression
just the battle scars of time

Looking at her I said:
“If you need a shoulder to lean on baby, I am here for you.”
And she said
“No thanks.  The smell of Ben Gay waters my eyes.”

Often life is like that, you never know
what is coming down the pike

I was in the restaurant yesterday,
kind of crowded,
but I still found a good seat

At that time,
suddenly quite by surprise my stomach growled deep down inside
This feeling came over me and I knew
I desperately needed to pass some gas.

The music in the Cafe was really, really loud,
so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs,
I started to feel much better.

Finishing my coffee I looked around the room
and noticed that everyone was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my I-Pod.

Man, I just hate it when that happens.

Jus Sayin

Under The Radar …

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 12:07 AM
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Okay, Okay … Everything is going along just purrrrrrfek.  The new Interstate section is now open and the traffic is moving smoothly, only takes me 35 minutes to get to the doctor’s office and the hospital.  No one flipped me off, and the wife didn’t have to re-load when I changed lanes, it is gonna be a good day.

Time to check in.  

They have this new hand scanner thing that identifies me and I don’t have a lot of paperwork to contend with, I am a happy camper.  A nice looking lady walks into the room and calls out “Number 28” which is my number and she leads me to a room.  

This is when I first see …. IT. 


There I am introduced to this huge do-nut looking machine and a whole lot of gauges.  My anxiety level seems to surge looking at this thing that ought to be in a Star Wars feature, it is massive.

She tells me to disrobe and put on the free-flowing don’t look while he is walking away gown and some slippers. 


Just to be on the safe side of the hospital attire scale, I snatch a second robe and cover up the first robe.  She sits down next to me and begins a series of questions.

Do you have or ever have questions:

Do you smoke
Do you drink
Do you cheat at cards
Do you trifle with other peoples women
Have you ever secretly watched Martha Stewart or Kathy Lee Gifford video’s
Absolutely not!

Do you have:

Heart Disease
High Blood Pressure
Have you ever been operated on
Yes, six times

Do you currently have cancer?

That is when I lost it. 

Jeeze lady, you don’t think I have enough on my plate right now to say Grace over?


I am now seriously considering moving to Asia and trying some acupuncture treatments, now that, looks interesting.


December 15, 2014

No Post Today

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 6:45 AM

old geezerGoing To The Doctor

December 14, 2014

No Longer A King

Filed under: Bus Life,Life — ldsrr91 @ 12:17 PM
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imagesThis morning I understand that I have been displaced as the undisputed Mega Maniacal Bus Board King of BCM.  This saddens me to some extent, but not much.  I checked out of there a long time ago, and have since, found greener pastures and solace in life. 

ROS is now king, long live ROS.

These days I concentrate on the things I love.  My old bus, “Be ye not the first to try the latest, nor the last to cast the old aside” is what my grandmother used to tell me, something truly special about being the owner of an old hoopie that is no longer in production

The smell of fresh rain on a country road in the summertime.
Songbirds in the tree on the westside of the house
The view from the top of the hill at the Riverside in Laughlin Nevada.

The husky sound of a woman’s laugh in the dark.
Little children at play.
Long stretches of two lane at dusk
the sound of a big Detroit workin a hill outside of Bozeman
fresh popcorn poppin,
mis-spelled words in Bus Conversion Magazines

Setting the Jake and listening to her bark as she drops off the hill.
High-dollar fuel, bad roads, lousy weather, take the edge off life
Aluminum wheels and shaved rivets
crowded truck stops and radared chicken fry’s
polished wheels excite my senses

I like the look of Albuquerque New Mexico after dark from the top of nine mile hill …
Same with Las Cruces and The College Exit in Henderson Nevada.
Porpoising on the Interstate in Wyoming, running I-20 east out of Houston.

Winning lottery tickets
(Hey … This is my whimsical dream, remember that.)
“It’s all downhill from Van Horn Texas.”
(Yeah sure)

Diesel mechanics who smile and say, “Ah, this aint nuthin.”

Halter tops and cut off Levi’s
Bacon fryin and the smell of burnt toast in the kitchen
(There you go Paul!),
M&M commercials
No one in line ahead of me at the fuel desk
mashed potatoes and dark rich gravy

The smell of diesel exhaust early in the morning
a cup of fresh brewed coffee.
Country Music, Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood
NASCAR, CMT Video’s, old time Rock n Roll
long, slow wet kisses in the dark,
Stories told late at night around a dying campfire

Cracker Barrel stores
Chrome shops,
Stainless Steel
the wife humming softly at the kitchen sink
fried apples in thick syrup.

And last:

Meeting another truck on a hill late at night, and he says, “Aint nuthin’ back there driver but a whole lot of dark.” 

All that … is a Windy Winter Day slice of life … Some of it even makes me smile.   As I am now officially aware that I am no longer a King, I shall ply my trade as a humble serf in the bus board Kingdom and stumble happily thru life.

I mean, who need’s all that childish crap?


Jus Sayin 1214

Filed under: Blogging,Holidays,Life — ldsrr91 @ 12:46 AM
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images-1What do you want for Christmas?
(Oregon blueberry pie doesn’t count Paul)

It really aint what you think it is
Two guys in a bus shop are talking,
and he says:
“We can press hard on her rear-end and that should button her up good.”
That one ….  And an empty box from Northern Tools
will stop the wife in her tracks for sure.

Two old ladies sitting on a park bench and one says:
“She is Patti’s daughter, she really isn’t all that C-U-T-E.”
Little girl turns around and says:
“Yes. But she is S-M-A-R-T.

Never thought I would say this, but NBC finally got one right.

Tonight they reported that “American’s took to the streets in protest over racial unrest in Ferguson Mo. and around the country.
They didn’t say “Afro-Americans” they said “Americans
because if you are from Ferguson or KC you aint Afro anything … You are homegrown bro.

Half of the hill behind your house is now in your living room
your Toyota Prius is buried under 6 ft of rocks and mud
there is nowhere on the street to put the trash can out on Friday
and the man looks straight into the camera and says,

“Don’t worry. This is our fourth time, we will rebuild.”

You just gotta love a Californian.

Jus Sayin

No post tomorrow, going to the doctor.

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