Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

November 28, 2014

Taking It Easy …

Filed under: humor,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 7:04 AM
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After a major operation awhile back, my doctor advised me to “go home and take it easy.  Which was a relief, I sure didn’t want to hear, “you only have _____ to live or something like that.  Just this week I observed a test on “How Long Do You Have Left To Live” or something along those lines.  I sure don’t know, but I do know this … I will take today … this is a great day to be above ground. 

This operation was necessitated by an improper lifestyle in my youth and the mixing of different chemical compounds, freely ingested, sometimes in the dark.  Then later on in life, you discover that Viagra and heart attacks are clearly no fun at all. 

Anywho ….. Like I said, “After a major operation my doctor advised me to “go home and take it easy.” So that is what I did, as a matter of pure unadulterated fact, I brought myself back here to the old Goat Farm and as the youngsters are so fond of saying … I chilled.

At that time, I discovered I was really good at this taking it easy stuff.  Now how’s that for a good morning chuckle? (No good … Well, whadya expect for free anyway?)

If it is not too much trouble …  Which one of you FaceBook Dwellers posted the 257 pictures to my drop-box?  I sure didn’t want to see all that.  Especially the picture of that one heavy set farm girl in Omaha, dressed in a wagon-sheet, who wanted to friend me. 

This gal was so big (How Big Was She Don?) that when she walked, even her shadow ran out of breath!  She was so big that she could not fly commercial airlines, because every time she sighed or sneezed, the air masks dropped down.  

One more thing and then I am outta here.  All the selfie photographs I’ve taken of myself wearing nothing but oven mitts and a tiara will never be shared on a Facebook page.  This my final answer on that.

(No good … Well, whadya expect for free anyway?)

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As usual I haven’t done a dog-gone thing today … Hey the wife is dead wrong … I am getting better at this.  Also an added bonus being Global Warming is officially in full swing, I might be able to chill just like this all winter long.

Will let you know ….

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Related:  Global Warming Discussion

November 27, 2014

Turkey Day Ramblings 

Filed under: Blogging,Holidays,Life,Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 12:30 AM
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It should be our duty and responsibility to remember a lot of guys are not coming home for the holiday.  Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.  I can still remember sitting on a flight deck of a carrier on Thanksgiving, some 18,000 miles from home and wishing I could be there.  When you are all alone on a Holiday and away from home, it is a hard row to hoe.  

And yes, I am thankful that I made it back.

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The news is so interesting this time of the year.  Maybe it was the pot … In Colorado a man was arrested for aiming a banana at police. The officers were able to bring the incident to a peaceful conclusion since they had thankfully been taught self defense against fresh fruit, and could have even handled a man armed with Kumquats!

The cop was drawing his service weapon when the man yelled, “It’s a banana!”

For the complete story please click on the link.

Papers are reporting that Apple is worth some $700 Billion.  But not all the news is good.  I’ve heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children’s-oriented iPod, after realizing that “iTouch Kids” is not a good product name.

In a once thought impossible situation, some folks in Ferguson, Mo. have united in a spirit of co-operation and formed a new alliance.  A Mexican family and a Black family have opened a new family restaurant … It is called “Nacho Mamas.”

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Where do the recently paroled or pardoned turkeys at the White House actually go?  (I am talking about the festive bird here, not a political buddy of some action committee.)

Sorry but Jimmy Fallon just doesn’t measure up and when Dave Letterman goes, it will be Ground Hog Day for me.

There’s a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the bomber jackets.  And this just in … CNN is reporting that Bingo is now being cancelled all over the Middle East.  It seems when they call out B-52 everyone runs out of the buildings.

Miller Time …. Don’t eat too much.

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Here is another spin on it:  Turkey Pardons.

An Old Time Thanksgiving Classic

Filed under: humor,Life — ldsrr91 @ 12:15 AM
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Every year at this time I think about this old clip … enjoy.

November 26, 2014

A Walk With The Devil

Filed under: humor,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 9:33 AM
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via Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com.  

If I hear the phrase “Black Friday” one more time.  I am gonna go into the bathroom, fill the tub full of scalding hot water, lite candles and place them all around the edge, put on 101.3FM 24 hours of love songs … and cut my wrists!

All the news here lately is of a negative nature (Big Surprise no?) here is something a little different for you this day.  A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robbers face.

The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him.

The robber instantly shot him also.

Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, “Well did anyone else see my face?”

There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak. Then one old cowboy named Bill from Oklahoma slowly raised hand and said, “I think my wife got a pretty good look at ya.”

Winners and Losers, Black Friday, we leave you this day with this.  

Everywhere, all over America there are loads of people who buy more than they need because it’s cheap. It never fails to amaze me the lengths that someone will go to just to get some free stuff or a greatly marked down item.  Vegetate in line for three days, sitting on a cold, hard, urine soaked sidewalk in New York just to save ten bucks on a Microwave. 

Make friends with these people and they will feel sorry for you if you convince them you are frugal and they will offer you things.  A couple of Jerry Cans of diesel from time to time, box of ammo, just about anything would help out. 

Yesterday someone gave me a giant box of sweet potatoes.  

Guess what I am gonna be eating today?

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Ice Cap Musings …

Filed under: writing — ldsrr91 @ 12:06 AM
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Woke up this morning with some mind-numbing concerns, I will share them with you.

  1. Found myself conflicted on doing a search on Goggle news on Tom Cruise or Bill Crosby.  Coz is a hot-button topic right now, Cruise not so much.  What can I say …. slow week. 
  2. Decided to NOT find out anything on the mess in Ferguson, Mo.  It did occur to me that they can now officially change their lic. tags.  They currently read, “Missouri The Show Me State.”  They could delete “state” an add “Hands” to that and be all kinds of PC.
  3. Why is it that I desperately miss Jay Leno and not Barbara Walters?
  4. My thought processes seem to  be derailed.  Last week for instance, on Wednesday, I stopped telling people “to have a nice day” as I was fairly sure I might kill someone by Saturday.  Kind of stumbled thru the week, like a beat-up smartphone with a missing ap and a half-drained battery. 
  5. And finally …. If this were a Home Invasion … Would you rather take a bullet straight to the head, or five rounds in the chest?  (Just accept it … Sometimes the choices life gives you are hard to swallow)

This new cartoon feature about Penguins by Disney cracks me up, all these birds falling from the sky at a a highly-accelerated-rate of speed and the one bird screaming …. “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” … I just find that incredibly funny. 

But then again I am a pretty sick puppy, we all know that.

Dead Penguins – Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica.  Where do they go? 

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. 

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”

“Freeze a jolly good fellow.” 

Then, they kick him in the ice hole.

You really didn’t believe that I knew anything about penguins, did you?

(Comments section is open, give it your best shot)

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RELATED:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=retX8Wj7JdM

November 25, 2014

Paul Loves Bacon

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 10:44 AM
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images7Are you aware of the fact that Denny’s puts eight (8) pieces of bacon on a BLT?  I found that out over the weekend, that is a lot of bacon.  It is sooooooo good, but so bad for you, one of those “everything I love to eat, is killing me” things.

One thing you can count on in America, good or bad, it will be marketed and given to you in one way, shape, form or manner.  You can now get a “Bacon Shake” at Burger King …. Have it your way.  And afterwords, when your arteries choke up and you win the lottery for high numbers on Cholesterol, you can get buried in your own bacon coffin. 

I know, I know, you are sitting there chuckling and chortling to yourself, saying this dude is making all of this up.  Uh huh … sure.  Just remember my friend, when they wheel you inside that room, and transfer you over to the table.

That metal is awful cold … Jus sayin.

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November 24, 2014

No More Jello

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 5:13 PM

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Whut’s Up Facebook … Dear Mr. Cosby it looks like you could get a little taste of what you have been dishing out all these years.  I hear they really like people who abuse women in America’s Penal System.

If you are at work, turn down the speakers “first” before playing the parody, don’t want to get you into trouble.

Drop the Soap

(Parody of Rock the Boat by Hues Corporation)

So I’d like to know if
You got the notion
If I touch my toes will
You get the lotion

Drop the soap
Don’t drop the soap baby
Drop the soap
And don’t you bend over
Drop the soap
Don’t tap my butt bubba
Drop the soap

Ever since this prison term began
My tush has lived in fear of some big hairy man
And I’m nervous hanging out with these thugs and thieves
They’re looking for a quiet place to corner me

I hope that I get out on probation
Before someone in that washroom gives me love deviation

So I’d like to know if
You get the notion
If I touch my toes will
You get the lotion
And I’d like to know when
You make a motion
And I’d like the guard to
Hear the commotion

Drop the soap
Don’t drop the soap baby
Drop the soap
Not safe to bend over
Drop the soap
Don’t tap my butt, bubba
Drop the soap
Don’t love me like Rover
Drop the soap
Oooh hoo hoo
Drop the soap
Rock on with the jailbait
Drop the soap
Rock on with your cellmate
Drop the soap
Rock on be the prom date
Drop the soap
Oh no oh oh no oh oh no bubba
Drop the soap
Oh no oh oh no oh oh no bubba
Rock on with your bad self
Drop the soap

December 30, 2013

2013 in review

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 9:52 PM

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 29,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 11 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

March 19, 2013

Less Of This – More Of That

Filed under: Blogging,Life — ldsrr91 @ 7:02 AM
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4-25  On the 19th I had quad-druple open heart by-pass, I am reading emails sporadically but not answering, I should be laid up for over 8 weeks.  

So, I will not be responding to emails but will be reading them from time to time.

 Thanks

The webpage is shut down.

Don Smith   


I keep telling myself … Focus, you just have to hang in there.  The man who sticks to his plan will become what he used to want to be.

Perhaps I am like Icarus, simply a man who dared to dream, a man who flew too close to the sun. Or like Daedalus, a man who equipped his son with unsafe wings made of easily melted beeswax? I would say the answer to this question is all and neither.

Dream little or dream small … In the final tally … it doesn’t matter at all.

Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills then you work hard for say, thirty-five years, and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, and then you die.

Maybe.

Some of you have noticed that I have been spending a lot less of my time at the keyboard, and instead have increased my reading time. As this new routine seems to agree with me, I see it continuing for at least a little while in my foreseeable future.  In other words, I am anxiously anticipating spring, some time on the porch with a good book, a glass of sweet tea.  We will not be adding any new material for the time being,  this is the drill, the new standard, less of this, and more of that.    

Possibly some of you will miss the daily rant, the assault on life.  The reality is this … Things change, we adapt and we mosey on the down the path.  In the archives you will find over fifteen-hundred articles and/or posts, please feel to help yourselves.  Thanks to all of our regular readers and commenters, it has been fun.  

Now it is time to move on.  

OOO

March 18, 2013

Okie Two-Fer

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The state recently spent $33 million dollars to build this new interchange in Oklahoma City, at Morgan Road.  It is state of the art, as far as Interchanges go, and is so impressive, they are building a carbon-copy of it down south on I-35.

Morgan Road is a huge complex of truck-stops and a mix of other trucking related businesses, so expediting the traffic out of the area, is a top priority.  One of the features that I really like are the new on-ramps onto Interstate 40.  You have plenty of room to maneuver and exiting and entering is a breeze. 

A far cry from what it used to be.  

The other day I was in Oklahoma City doing some rat killing and after fulfilling my duties, I cut a swath for the goat farm.  I hit the Interchange and came to the “yield” sign, and as I did not note any traffic, blew thru that and headed westbound.  At this juncture the road is a well marked, two-lane, one slow lane, and one lane for entry into Interstate 40.

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As I made the corner, I sort of drifted out immediately to the higher speed lane to hit the Interstate and head home.  In my mirror, I noted a black car, and in my mind I thought to myself, “Man, I sure hope that aint a cop.”

Turns out it was, a genuine full-growed OHP (Oklahoma Highway Patrol).  He lit me up and I put on my turn signal and hit the shoulder of the Interstate.  He walks up to the truck, I roll down the window, and he asks for my lic. and proof of insurance.  Which I provide with a smile.

The officer after checking me out then motions for me to come to the rear of the truck, which I do.  He then informs me of why he stopped me (illegal lane change/no seat belt) and I say to him, “Hey?  I know you.”  He looks at me and says, “How do you know me?” and I reply, “I had a cup of coffee with you about a month ago at Banner Road, at the Shell Station.”  

He nods his head in agreement, smiles and says, “Yeah.  You are the guy with the bus.”  And I smile (figuring I got it made in the shade, I often do that for no really good reason at all) and say, “Yup.  That’s me.”

He then says, “You cut me off back there and you are not wearing a seat belt.”  Which is kind of true and not so true.  I did not cut him off, just kind of nosed ahead of him and I was wearing the belt, it was the “harness I was not wearing.”  So I smiled and said, “Well hell, give me a ticket!”  He looks at me and says, “I am gonna give you two!”

Now that is more than I bargained for and that was somewhat not expected.

Ended up getting a two-fer, one for the lane change and one for the seat belt.  I got a warning on the lane change and it is $20 for the belt.  I came home, wrote out a check for the fine, checked the box that said “guilty as hell” and like a sticky-tongue odd ball I am, licked it shut and walked it to the mailbox.  Another $20 in fuel money down the chute.

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Which is a lot cheaper than the ticket I got on the turnpike last year.

He stopped me and said, “Do you know why I stopped you?” and I replied, “Beats me.  I don’t have any coffee or donuts.”

 That will cost you $138.00 and some change.

Remember that the next time you are motoring thru our state.  Some of our cops have a sense of humor and some don’t.

OOO

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